01.04.10
2010 Yoga Asana Championship
Apologies for the lack of updates!
Been busy teaching, studying dialogue [yes, still!], and spending time with my cats and googies.
So the most important update so far is… I LOVE TEACHING! Except for the times when I lose my voice, or my body explodes in a series of rashes [like today... which means I had a hard time figuring out my wardrobe or trying not to scratch / rub myself against a wall to relieve itching].
In more disappointing updates, I will NOT be competing in the 2010 Yoga Asana Championships due to monetary constraints. Alas, I have bills to pay, loans to pay off [COUGH!], more bills to pay. Added on to the fact that I want to concentrate on teaching for the next 3-6 months and be the best that I can be.
ON HINDSIGHT THOUGH – even though I may not be competing, I totally locked my right knee out and did the standing splits! Woot!
Then I promptly fell out and nearly crash landed into the mirror. *cringe.
But who cares about how high I kick or how far back I go? What matters is MY FORM! Precision, alignment, INTENSITY!!!!
And with that, I go back to my daily dose of living.
M*
p.s : BIKRAM101 DAY CHALLENGE! SO TOTALLY ON! Now to stock up on Baking Soda ..wee!
12.24.09
Don’t Put Your Feet In Different Boats…
… or when you’re travelling down the river the boats will diverge and your ass will split into two.
That was one of the most valuable lessons I learnt in Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. That and when you even “think of cheating, you’re cheating your own soul and hurting it”.
I also learnt self-respect and self-love. As someone who struggled with confidence and esteem issues, it felt very empowering to go up in front of 310 people [including Bikram!] and teach 3 demonstrators Ardha-Chandrasana ["Arms over your head sideways, interlock the fingers, release the index finger, thumbs crossed......COME DOWN AND PUSH, AND PUSH, AND PUSH"]. I can ONLY respect myself and treat myself the way I want to be treated, or, how else are my students going to respect me?
As I woke up this morning at 4.44am [I can only sleep for 5 hours a night now... thanks Boss!], I realised that my WHOLE life, right before TT, I was being a doormat for SO MANY PEOPLE. You feel like crap, had a bad day at work/uni? It’s okay, please hurl abusive remarks my way and I’ll be cool with it – although I did not react, I would still think about the hurtful words said and let it fester in my mind, like seeds of a rotten plant taking hold in my head.
Those days are now way behind me.
It’s NOT OK to walk on over me just because you need to make yourself feel better about what a sorry state you are.
I’ve also learnt how not to rest on my laurels and just.. get up on do it! THAT’S the aim of self-realisation- you are worth more than you think you are. Afterall, what’s the most valuable thing in life? “YOUR life, you idiots!” Boss would yell at us, every. single. time.
So enough with all the bullshit I’ve been living with for the past 24 years of my life. Time to start afresh and anew. Afterall, 2010 is only a few days away 
M*
09.29.09
Off to Teacher Training!
Why hello.
Allright, will be away for 9 weeks – life changing soul shaking mind bending body crushing change etc etc metaphor – so please visit my teacher training blog here.
four more hours. eek! As they say, “When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”.
Doing it the Bikram way means “Chilling the fuck out, breathe through your nose and go have a Guinness”.
M*
p.s : I WILL SEE YOU MICHELLE!
09.26.09
Careful Who You Talk To…
As it is my last weekend in KL before heading off to TT, decided to haul ass down to the city centre to get my flat-ass kicked in advanced class – only because I will miss Jakob and his wicked sense of humour.
Gonna digress a little here – he can’t believe that some local political party *COUGH C OUGH* is against Beyonce coming over to perform because she’s ’sexy’. “Not because she’s black or anything?” asked Jakob incredulously. “Nah, it’s cause she’s SEXY and will cause us to have slack morals yada yada yada” I replied while setting up for Pigeon. They pulled the same excuse with Gwen Stefani, Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna… and even had the nerve to say that Michael Learns to Rock is deviant. Honestly, what’s wrong with the song “25 minutes”?!
“But you know, I’ve seen WORSE advertising around the mall – and some girls dressing up with half their ass hanging out of their pants!” he replied
“… oops sorry”.
“Not you, Mei. You don’t flash your ass in class”
So happy to know that even with my flat ass [I honestly do have a flat ass. In fact, it's so goddamn flat, I can't fill out my size S Shakti shorts and buying pants is a real -yep- pain in the ASS] I’m not mooning anyone behind me. They say you get a great ass from yoga, it’s been 2 years and I want my goddamn money back! [kidding, really!].
-end digression-
Before class started, an American guy [let's call him C] asked when I was headed off to Vegas.
C : Ahh, Vegas. Never been there before.
M* : Apparently it’s quite fun!
C : LOTS of Asians there, though. Asians like to gamble, and I’m part Asian, so Vegas is a no-no for me. Lots of Asians apply to go to Vegas for tourism purposes, though.
M* : BAH, US tourist visa! It was so difficult to get mine! The weird questions the officer asked… [rant rant rant].
C : Oh, they just want to see if you’re nervous or are hiding something, as people who have stuff to hide or are not honest are jumpy with the answers…
M* : ..waitamin, how do you know so much?
*fellow bender sitting next to us pipe up* : That’s cause he works for the US Embassy.
Ladies and gents, it was as though a big giant neon “FML” sign was lit right above my head.
Righty ho. And to think that only minutes before I joked “Hey, I got my visa! Looks like I won’t have to marry anyone to get in! 
“. Well, at least he was nice and played along, “Oh damn, I was about to propose to you”.
Since we’re on a roll, let me tell you this rather awesome awkward story that happened to me last night while at my farewell.
It was SUPER awesome – thank you everyone who showed up!
A guy sitting at my 12 o’ clock was staring at me. Rather intently. It didn’t help that he was kind of cute. Pleasant looking. Looks to be around mid-30s. I like older men, I find males my age rather juvenile. Let me reiterate that – he was staring at me. Not at Hazel or her gigantic tits. Not at Vic. But ME.
Awesome, it must be the haircut, I LOVE IT! Must remind to thank Phillip…. I thought to myself.
After a few rather uncomfortable moments, he was STILL staring at me. What the fuck, can’t a girl swig her beer and chomp pizza in peace? EVERYTIME MY EYES MET HIS – he’d still be staring at me. OK Mister Weirdo, you are creeping me out.
Curiosity got the better of me after a few minutes. Turned around to make sure that he wasn’t staring at the group of drunk men behind me… and lo behold. 4 feet behind me, just right above my head, was a giant LCD with some sort of football [that's soccer to the Americans] game going on.
Oh. Right. Staring at the TV, not me.
*forehead palm.
M*
09.24.09
IT’S OFFICIAL.
Oh spank me, I did a title in all caps again.
Gee, I seem to be loaded with innuendo these past few days.
I will be competing in Malaysia’s first asana championship, 8-9 January 2010.
Initially thought I won’t be able to compete as I’ll be gallivanting around the states [HELLO J AND MICHELLE! *waves like a maniac], but Jakob said, “Nuh uh. We’re doing it on the 8 and 9th”
Me : 
*squeal!
Ahem.
Here’s hoping that I my body won’t be a fantastic wreck after training because oh-HOT DAMN, one advanced class can really take me out like someone sucker-punched me in the nose [nobody wants to talk to me after advanced cause I babble about ponies and then remain quiet, pretty much like someone fed me a 1/4 pound of marijuana Not that I've had that much in my body...]
I think that’s enough excitement my little heart can take. That and I’ve got TONNES of freelance work to do See, I’m NOT procrastinating.
M*
p.s : Of course you won’t die during yoga class. Even if you do, True Fitness Malaysia offers you a 2-year FREE membership in the event that you do [end sarcasm].
09.23.09
EXCITING NEWS
THIS IS SO EXCITING THAT I MAY VERY WELL BE TEMPTED TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND IN PINK.
But I shan’t, as that’s bad bad Net decorum. Naughty Mei!
Instead, just imagine, if you will, a 5′ bouncing ball of energy zipping across the room like a rabbit on metamphetamines.
Weee!!!
*zip zip zip
Ahem.
I just taught half moon pose to a class of 25. WOW.
Although I taught t was only one set, right side. But wow, the feeling of getting UP onto the podium, getting the headset over my head Check check, can everyone hear me? and THEN delivering dialogue. Just, WOW.
The energy – what you give is what you get back – is 10, maybe 20fold- has me still on a buzz long after class has ended. The best way to describe it is smoking 50 ounces of crack laced with marijuana before being hung upside down Sydney Harbour Bridge. I haven’t done this so don’t try this please!
I think I did OK. Missed ‘arms and head back / chin up / focus one point in the mirror don’t even blink your eyes’.Hmm, don’t think I swung my arms around that much. Oh crappiola, I did say “Push your right, er sorry, left hip forward…”. Jakob told me AGAIN, “STOP SAYING SORRY. SORRY NO CURE”. Right. Gotta stop saying SORRY and DAMNIT / PISSANT / FUCK / SHIT when I miss / mess words up from the dialogue. Sincere apologies in advanced to ANYONE who’s gonna be taking my FIRST class. “Roll forward, body weight in the heels, fuck I meant, toes, I meant, fuck, I meant, oh shit!”
Very touched by the regulars who came up to me after class and wished me the best. Oh so touched by their kind words and sincerity. A fellow bender even got me a shirt [WOW, A SHIRT!] and offered me some melatonin pills to allow me to adjust to the time in Nevada faster It took me ONE WHOLE WEEK to adjust to a 5-hour time difference in New Zealand, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I go back there! I have a long post about my journey till today [how I came this far, the money problems, the blah and blah], but I guess it’ll have to wait just a wee bit till I settle yogameiniac in with a nice cuppa hot choccie. 
Till then. Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful wonderful evening / day.
And lock the fucking knee!
M*
09.22.09
On Her Bestest Behaviour …
… as this nutty yogini shares a room with her very nice roomie for 9 weeks. Hi Mel!
That means no random spurts of laughter [that really scares the bejeesus outta some friends], no random shouts of “BALLS!”, nor any form of debauchery. Must also remember to sit politely and not with my legs akimbo like a cow giving birth.
This is so exciting. Only 1 MORE WEEK!
On a side note, it’s been confirmed that I got the crazies from mum’s side, as this afternoon she asked me a question that I believe, NO mother should ever ask her daughter :
How often do you have sex?
- WHAT?
How often do you and The Boyfriend have sex?
- *high pitched voice* It’s none of your bizznez!
Oh, just asking. You’re gonna be sexless for 9 weeks anyway
- MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM.
All this while I was trying to study Salabhasana [which, I believe, is a bitch].
M*
09.20.09
Turning Humour Off
Hmm.
Just realised that I *may* have to tone my sense of humour / outspoken behaviour down a notch [or 5] when I get to Las Vegas to avoid pissing people off. Especially since everyone’s going to be moody / cranky from all that sleep and sex deprivation. I can be the bitch from hell when hungry and sleep deprived. Either that or I will burst into song spontaneously / laugh non-stop for no apparent reason. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
No one, except family and friends, seem to understand my dry / sarcastic / morbid sense of humour. Example in point :
Q [as posted on Facebook wall of Bikram Yoga Fall 2009 Training group] :
Why are they building 3 tents in the Hilton?
M* : Oh, 1’s for the hot room, 1’s the lecture room, and the other one’s to dump all our dead bodies in after they’re done.
….
Nobody took too kindly to that. Everyone was so serious and talking about the whole debacle / business of getting wifi in the room / fridges in the room.
Sheesh. I’m starting to think this batch of trainees are too yoga-serious, or my sense of humour is questionable. 
M*
p.s : If all else fails, I’ll start talking like a Jamaican and claim that English is my 3rd language, right after Klingon and Cthulhu.
09.19.09
Random Photos
OK, seriously, updating TWO blogs is sapping a heap of energy from me. Topping it off with dialogue memorisation and cleaning my room AND packing for #bktt.
“Turn your head in , mouth on the floor…”
Starting September 30th [or today even!], do visit my Teacher Training blog, courtesy of McKinley!
Dialogue!
YAY! My dialogue! Gotta go get it laminated and what not. The copy my studio director gave me kinda looks like wet socks. Or salted vegetables. Or salted vegetables stuffed into wet socks.
My newly coloured room
Ahhh! It’s PINK! A nice, lovely, shade of pale pink with purple-y undertones. Excuse the pink duvet peeking through the bottom. And excuse the mess on my vanity table. I just wanted to show my new room colour off. HEHEHE!
It’s SO PINK, it’s little wonder I don’t bring guys home. They may very well go flaccid at the sight of pinkness and My Little Ponies on my dresser. Yeah. That and I hate sleeping with the AC on, unless it’s ridiculously HOT. And my mum will kill me even IF I do!
Sweat Tops
My 2 lovely sweat tops, courtesy of McKinley! If you haven’t gotten an uber sweat tank top / t-shirt yet, oooooooooh, you have NO clue what you’re missing!
Yeah, those are the clothes I’m aiming to pack to Vegas. My mum says 3 pairs of jeans is excessive and I quote :
“Lu siao ah [ARE YOU CRAZY?!], bring so many pairs of jeans FOR WHAT!”
“But maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam” *whine
And yes, I have “Cow jumps over the moon” jammies. Shush. I don’t think my roommate will be pleased if I walked around half naked.
For obvious reasons, I can’t sleep on my bed as it’s all taken up by clothes, so I’ve decided to join the cats downstairs and sleep on the couch, much to Edward kitty’s delight and Bella’s horror [she can't do naughty things like drink from our water filter / scratch the sofa as I'll lop a pillow at her]
M*
As you can tell, I’m so deathly tired I can’t even string a coherent sentence to save my socks. *z
We Pause For A Funraiser
No, I did not commit critical copy / spelling error. Thanks for noticing though!
Remember your student days?
If, you were a poor starving student such as yours truly, I’m sure you remember the days of eating NZ$2 pies in the quad, instant noodles [mmmm], cheap coffee, 4packs of Red Bull / V [so you can save $2]… and when the day comes for WINZ to deposit money into your account, you fist-pump and go YUZZAH! [I didn't get WINZ ] And must I add, nudge nudge, walking 3km to town just to get cheap food?! No? Oh, maybe it was just me, el cheapo student.
Yes, life was tough for me as a student. Add on a part-time job waitressing / selling shoes [my last year], studies, dissertations, assignments, 4000-5000 word essays in Spanish, random illnesses thrown in the mix… it was very stressful indeed.
Now that I am on my way to become a Bikram Yoga teacher, I shall first endure the rigours and suffering that comes with Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. 2 classes a day, every day, 9 weeks. Sleep deprivation. All in the beautiful city of Las Vegas!
M of ilovesweat has rather genious-ly [I know it's not a right word, but bear with me] come up with the idea to help lessen the financial burden placed upon me while I attend Bikram Yoga Teacher Training.
ilovesweat and Yogameiniac proudly present…
Model not included. And NO, you cannot have the sweaty man with tattoo’d arms [I think that's sweat himself modelling it]
For a limited time only! Mei-grey tops with an original dandayama-dhanurasana print by sweat himself!
Each top is specially screened to order [so you'll be receiving a very unique top, unlike a mass produced Guess top] with maximum love and positive energy and comes with its very own hangtag of authenticity. SWEET! [or, SWEAT!]
Mei-grey tops will ONLY be available while I am at torture camp bootcamp [Oct4th - Dec 6th], so come on down to ilovesweat.com to purchase your limited edition tops! Not only will you be rocking an awesome top post/pre/before class, you will be helping TWO yogis at the same time. How awesome is that?!
Now go forth and rock it out in the hot room with the coolest tank tops
M*
