Angela Wah & The Slug
If there’s one thing I dislike about evangelical people, it’s evangelical people in the mall on a Monday as you’re about to catch a movie.
As I was running to the cinema to purchase movie tickets for myself and Kel, 2 women waved at me for abit :
Random #1 : Hello! Are you local?
M* : Uh, no… Don’t you smell something fishy already?!
R1 : Oh okay, where are you from? *takes pamphlet Christiany looking pamphlet out. AHA!
M* : New Zealand Which is semi-true, of course
R1 : oh okay! So this weekend it’s Father’s day [M* : NO SHIT SHERLOCK] , and we at Church have got some fun activities lined up…
M* : I’m not free this weekend.
R#2 : Great, it’s her turn to speak Oh on Friday, we’ve got a cell group, and you can learn etc etc…
M* : I’m Christian [Lie #1. Well, I generally say that so they’ll stop trying to save me. I’m Agnostic-Buddhist, if there ever is such a thing. And yes, I believe that one’s merits will get them into Heaven, and not by reciting holy scriptures all day long and repenting on your death bed. Cause that’s not fair. Meaning I can be a kiddie rapist and an adulterous wench, yet be forgiven a mere 4.5 seconds away from death? What about the souls I’ve utterly disregarded during my lifetime?]
R#1 : Oooh, so it’s okay, you can come to our cell group… how long will you be here in Malaysia?
M* : Another half a month. I’m here on a 3-month internship [Lie #2. I never did an internship. Unless you count drinking margaritas and dancing to salsa an internship]
R#2 : Interesting! So what are you doing here?
M* : Uhhh. graphic web advertising… [Arachknots, kindly insert guffaw here]
R#2 :Oooh so where do you stay?
M* : uhh.. Damansara [Lie #3. I work there. Well, okay, semi-live]
R#2 : ooh which part! I live in Ken Damansara!
M* : I uh, live in Ken Damansara 2 [I went to a friend’s place once. I like it there. I want Kel to buy a unit there. HINT HINT]
R#1 : oooh we should keep it touch! Do you have a card, or a number?
M* : Uhh… 012- 310 0671 [Lie #4 : This used to be my old number]. Well it was nice meeting you. I’ve got a movie to catch…
R#2 : Sorry, what’s your name again?
M* : Angela. Angela Wah.
They were nice. I couldn’t very well tell them that I don’t eat beef, pray to a deity that they don’t believe in and that somehow, someday, we all go to Heaven, could I?
Speaking of slugs, I found a slug the size of a thumb [a huge, flat and brown one at that]. In my water bottle. After I took a huge swig from it.
Ran upstairs and emptied half my mum’s mouthwash into my mouth and gargled till the second installation of Transformers.
My colleague attempted to scared me this afternoon :
Lay : Maybe they’re feeding in your stomach.
M* : IMPOSSIBLE. My stomach juices would’ve minced them all up, so it’s lying about in my stomach. Hah!
Lay : You forgot – they’re asexual. Which means, they can breed easily.
M* : 😯 AIEEEEEEEEEEE!