Monthly Archives: January 2009

Boracay Part 1

As most of you may have known, I took 1 week off from work to go to visit April [my best girlfriend] in the Philippines, celebrate Eldon and Abie’s wedding [AND pregnancy] and most of all, take a well-deserved break and enjoy some sand, sea, surf and sunburn. Before I begin, Don, you can kiss my nice tan ass because I damn well deserve this break. So, piling work onto me when I gave you 8 months notice of my 1 week leave and blaming it on me again when I get back, is a no-no.

But I digress!

I shall tempt all of your palates with an assortment of food that I’ve had the opportunity to partake during my vacation. And I must say I put on about 2kg post holiday. Maybe I haven’t had the time to take a crap yet [that’s -1kg] and my lungs were full [-500g] and I was holding onto some piss [-500g].


MAS food

MAS food

What Kel had for breakfast on board. Roti Canai served with Chicken curry. Sorta looks unappetising, but it tasted quite good. Chicken was soft and tender, and the curry wasn’t too spicy. Roti Canai a tad too oily for my tastes though, but otherwise it wasn’t leathery and pokey.



I had the waffles, which was a tad disappointing. The waffles tasted too floury, was soggy and the sad pathetic excuse of peach slices were not too happy to be accompanied by the waffles as they too, were soggy. How do canned peaches get soggy anyway?

At night, April and Tian took us out for some traditional Pinoy grub at Greenbelt. Enough of the Italian, Japanese, etc cuisine. We can’t get Pinoy cuisine in KL! First up :



Sinigang, a traditional Pinoy dish made with tamarind and simmered with ooodles of veggies. You can choose either beef, chicken, pork, lamb, squid as the meat but since this dish was beef, I couldn’t eat it [but I drank abit of the soup, though!]. Tastes like tom yum minus the spiciness, sinigang is sour [thanks to the tamarind] but yet the sourness doesn’t overpower the taste of the veggies and the meat.

Fried Shrimp

Fried Shrimp

HAHA it was THAT GOOD till I forgot to take a photo of it till after we were halfway done with it. Yes, the prawns still have their shell on, but it lends a nice crunchy texture to the prawns. The dipping sauce complements the oil in the friend prawns, making it more palatable and doesn’t leave a film of oil on your tongue after you’re done gorging on Wee Willy and his family.


Fried Pork Trotters 😀

Ahh trotters trotters. We Chinese usually stew the trotters, while the Germans roast them and bake them. I gather this dish was baked first to retain the juiciness before being dipped skilfully into a vat of hot oil to render the skin and the sinewy, fatty bits crunchy. This dish can get a tad dry for some [like me] but fret not, there’s sauce to add juiciness and a burst of flavour to the dish.


Pork Adobo and Okra with Salted Egg

Adobo is a traditional Pinoy dish that’s made with marinated meat of choice [pork here]. The usual marinating ingredients for Adobo are soy sauce and vinegar, lending to a slightly sour and salty taste. While I enjoyed the Adobo immensely, with pork bits melting in your mouth, I can’t say the same for the Okra as I found it a little too bland and the okra a tad too sticky for my liking.

Total : I don’t know, because April wrestled the bill from me. BETCH.

While in Boracay, we had tonnes of great food. First up, what’s holidaying on an island without eating seafood, glorious seafood? We went to Paradiso [or Paradise?] seafood place in Station 2.

Prawns steamed Halabos style

Prawns steamed Halabos style

Halabos style means steamed in Sprite. As in the soft drink. Steaming it in Sprite lends a sweet touch to the already fresh and sweat, succulent prawns. I obviously ate the prawns Chinese style [as in, tore the head open to suck on the juices] much to the horror of the table opposite us. I didn’t care if my mouth ulcers were protesting, all 4 of them. Story to be told later and no, it isn’t something sex related.


Lobster grilled in Garlic Butter

Ahh we [Kel, Tian and I] had the time of our lives choosing which poor sad little lobster would be the one destined for our stomachs. Since all the seafood’s priced by grammes, we decided to get this medium sized bugger and ended up with a happy little camper. The lobster was fresh, succulent and not overly cooked, and the good thing is that the majority of the sauce was at the bottom of the dish, allowing us to taste the freshness and sweetness of the meat. Naturally, I ate this Chinese style again [tearing it apart and sucking at every limb, cartiledge and what not], and the table opposite us started staring at me. Again.

Crab with coconut milk

Crab with coconut milk

I know the picture’s upside down, but I couldn’t be arsed correcting it because the pictures are making me hungry. I reckon the coconut milk overpowered the crab a wee bit, and it being coconut milk and thus very filling, made me full! But the crab was oh-so-delicious and filled with meat, unlike some of the rickety varieties of crab you get in Malaysia. Again, I tore this crab apart [sucking on legs, chewing on legs and crushing other parts of the bugger on the table] I’m surprised the table opposite us didn’t leave or come over to film me. Heathens. Pah.

Bangin' burger

Bangin' burger

Since April had allergies, while we indulged in our seafood fiesta, she indulged in a burger 😦

Total : RM321 for the whole meal + 3 rice, inclusive of drinks

And here’s a sample of what a REALLY luxurious breakfast in Boracay looks like :

Healthy Brekkie

Healthy Brekkie

I couldn’t eat rice for breakfast as my stomach’s not used to it [even if I were to have Nasi Lemak, I’d save it until mid afternoon], so Kel and I went next door to Lemon Cafe. This muesli + yogurt combo of mine was overflooded with dairy product, but nice little effect they did with the mango sauce.



Kel had a BIG Breakfast, naturally. I reckon a BB is a pretty hard dish to screw up, unless you burn the bacon, undercook the tomatoes and you just don’t know how to cook. Excuse the packet of cigerettes, I do not endorse smoking. *kicks Kel

Total : RM45 inclusive of 2 shakes

And if you’re ever in Boracay [it doesn’t cost THAT much to get there], you simply must head to Hawaiian Bar-b-que in Station 1 to give these beauties a try

Pork Belly

Pork Belly

Soft, juicy, succulent, simply melt in your mouth divine! It was hard to distinguish the fat from the meat, as the meat just simply melted in your mouth the moment you put it in. Little wonder how I managed to go through the meal without having to chew. 😀

Pork Ribs

Pork Ribs

THIS was the highlight. There was no need for a cutting knife as the meat just simply peeled off the bone effortlessly, just like peeling a thong off a slut. With a burst of flavour from the meat, you didn’t even need the dipping sauce.

Jumbo Shrimp

Jumbo Shrimp

Dipped in crumbed butter with grated coconut, the jumbo shrimp was OK. Not as fresh as Halabos prawns, Jumbo Shrimp was still juicy and the grated coconut added a tinge of island-ness to what would have been a rather bland dish.


Mango Chicken

A tad disappointing, this dish was bland and there was just too little mango salsa to go with the chicken. Skip this dish.

Total : RM200 total, inclusive of 4 rice and 5 drinks.

And that’s PART ONE of my Boracay trip. Part 2 to be updated soon, when I get the time 🙂


Colours of “A” Spectrum

Before I blog about my trip to Philippines and Boracay, allow me to introduce you to someone very special.

A little introduction, watch the video below please! [I gotta love wordpress cause it allows me to embed stuff, whee!]

Meet my Pinoy (Philipino) cousin, Ian Ng Po.

Aunty Angie, Ian, Mei

Aunty Angie, Ian, Mei

The first time I met Ian when I was around 9 / 10, and he’s a year or 2 older than I am. I remember back then being afraid of him cause he was really HUGE, plus the fact that I couldn’t understand half of what he and elder brother Justin were saying [cause they spoke with such heavy Philippino accents!]. Coupled with the fact that he’s epileptic and autistic [and me being 9/10 and a brat at that], I really didn’t wanna make nice. And he was really, really, really hyper!

At the age of 25 in 2008, Ian for the first time, picked up a camera and learned how to take photographs. And boy oh boy, are his photographs abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. I guess you could say the artistic side comes from my dad [no idea where the motormouth / cheeky bit came from].

Although autism is a condition that is hard to understand, Auntie Angie and the Autism Society of Philippines have discovered / pioneered the use of photography as a means of bonding with an autistic child. In fact, Ian himself is more controlled and is happier now that he’s doing photography. When asked “Oh, why’d you take this picture of the boat, etc etc,”, his response would be “Oh, I like” before trotting off into his own little world.

For more information about Ian and the Autism Society of Philippines, click on the reading materials below :

Till the next time I blog about my Boracay trip,


p/s : Check out my nice tan in the photo above 😀

p/p/s : Ian is related to me through dad’s side. Dad’s sister married a Pinoy, and the rest is history 😀


Do I feel unfulfilled and not content?

Time to switch?

Back to Reality

AHHH back to work and reality after a very nice 1 week away.


As usual, work called for me while I was traipsing the streets of Makati city with my cousin, Justin. 


To think  that my application of leave that I’ve submitted 8 months ago would result in some serious resource planning [since I’m the most beautiful and supreme, intelligent ONLY copywriter where I work]. But no, some poor foresighted fool has decided to bombard me with all the work, 3 pitches in all to be completed in the span of 3 days. 


And apparently, as I was told by my Creative Head, if I didn’t take leave, I would’ve been able to complete my work. Which I think is a fallacy in argument, as I need to finish all my 2008 leave by 2009. 


Now excuse me while I plough through work. This fabulous, wonderful, beautiful and charming person is a superhuman writer 🙂




Itchy Eyes, Achy Back and Breaky Shoulders.

Title pretty much explains it all. I’m so cranky my boss told me to go take a nap on the sofa. 


Only 3 more days till …








The Humanitarian Lion




We support the Humanitarian Lion




Just a little background : 


The Cannes Festival is like the Grammy / Oscars of the advertising world. To win one for a campaign is equivalent to getting your cock sucked on by the Queen of England while she declares a holiday in your name and bequeaths you a castle, some property and a title.


Or just really good mojo for your career.


As you can see, to win SOMETHING at Cannes is AAAAAH!, whilst winning the Gold Lion / Campaign of the Year is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *dies and goes to Heaven



A very big deal indeed. So please support this humanitarian move. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if wankers such as myself made the move?



Lamest Sex Me(i) Line

Okay so Foo would like to think I’m damn free at work, but I’m not. I do little quick bursts of blogs to destress [I’d go on twitter, but I don’t have many friends, ergo a waste of time].


Since I’ve been enjoying going out a wee bit of late [pun pun pun!], I’ve of course had a few encounters with boys. Like you know, friend of a friend, that sorta deal. So after a couple of whiskeys, this guy proceeds to chat me up : 


M* : Oh, so you work at Microsoft?

Him : Yes, I try to convince people that Microsoft is good.

M* : Hmm. I actually think it’s the devil, and I’m allll for open source. Like Firefox and Chrome!

Him : However, I’d like to tell people I’m Microhard.

M* : Uhhhh…..     *silent internal cringe



If I were to see him again, I’d like to say “Micro? Is it really that small? Or did you mean MACROHARD?”





Again, I’m Not Mean

take only what you need says:

don’t you feel sorry for the lesser beings?


Mei*s new year resolution is to gain weight says:



take only what you need says:

who smell of cows and talks gibberish?


Mei*s new year resolution is to gain weight says:



Mei*s new year resolution is to gain weight says:

not really


Mei*s new year resolution is to gain weight says:

i avoid them so i don’t have to feel sorry for them


take only what you need says:

and has the beauty of an elephants crusty anus?


Mei*s new year resolution is to gain weight says:

like i said, avoid the problem so it doesn’t become a problem

An Accident and a Gangster

For those of you who are not in the know [or have been politely referred here by me, since I’m so goddamn lazy and tired of repeating the same story], I was involved in an automobile accident on Sunday morning at 1.45.

Don’t worry, me or my passenger Michael wasn’t at all hurt [I think… actually come to think of it, I didn’t even ask Michael whether he was OK, cause I was in a shock! HAHA what a terrible friend / student]

It happened on the NKVE expressway. I was sending Michael home after some drinks with Erik [at this point of time, I must say I’ve only had TWO pints of Guiness]. We were coming from Jalan Duta heading towards Subang. Since it was a nice clear Saturday night / Sunday morning, it was the perfect weather for illegal motorbike racers [from the local species called Mat Rempits, scientific name Idiotus Maximium Castrati]

I was happily driving on my middle lane when suddenly the Mat Rempit RAMMED into my right door. There was a huge jolt. So we stopped the car by the side of the road to inspect the damage. At first I thought that I knocked into a nearby car, but it turns out that an individual of the esteemed Mat Rempit species WAS RACING and fucker knocked into me.

Okay. Let me put it in a very succinctly. And from here onwards, I’m going to erupt in foul language as it took utmost control not doing so for the last 5 paragraphs.

– Mei driving around 80 km/h on NKVE.

– Fucker Rempit knocks into Mei.

– Mei stops car.

– Rempit and Plus Ronda [Highway police] suggest I reverse all the way there [1km to scene of accident]. NO FUCKING WAY! Isn’t that the STUPIDEST most LUDICROUS suggestion EVER?!

– Michael and Mei meet with the Rempit.

– Rempit demands payment. Say I was wrong.

-Mei refuses.

– Rempit still wants payment for hospital fees. That filthy little maggot can still walk and talk, what payment?! I’ll shove coins up your ass, motherfucker, how’s that for payment? Then you can fish it out of your ass and when you move around, it’ll make this little jingle sound and you’ll remember me for that.

At this point of time, I’d have to thank my hero of the night, Michael. He was sleeping in the backseat of the car before the accident happened [sorry!!]. The Hong Kong / Scottish gangster in Michael made an appearance as he stands up to that puny asswipe and says “NO PAYMENT, WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY”. I remember having to pull Michael back [hey, moving a grown man with arms the size of your thighs is kinda difficult…].

Imagine if he wasn’t with me, with 7 – 10 mangy Rempits and 1 tiny girl [I consider myself tiny, thanks], things could’ve gotten preeettyy ugly. So thanks Michael, I owe you one!

And thanks to Erik for offering the bestest of advice.

And you know what the best thing about this accident is? That motherfucking Rempit HAS NO LICENCE. So I can’t motherfucking make a claim against him. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. I hope you die of syphillis in your throat with your genital organs all swelled up and inflammed. And should the next time you get onto a motorbike you’d get boils on your rectum so you’ll find it difficult sitting down and taking a shit.

And I hope to one day install wire median barriers all across highways to protect other road users from the menace that is the Rempit. No idea what they are? Well take a look at this news release. While I am sorry for the family’s tragic loss, a huge part of me wants this installed on roads so it’ll help eliminate the Rempit population and control illegal racing. And what the fuck were they doing racing on a motorway? They can go fuck off back to their little village and rape their cousins and sisters and have even more inbred hicks such as themselves.

Like I told someone [I forgot who, or maybe I just told too many people], I seem to be some sort of Rempit accident magnet. First this accident, and now this. Why can’t some nice, hot, rich, young and heterosexual male just rear-end [in more ways than one 😉 ] my car. This means I’d get his number, marry him and drive around in a Passat or be driven around in a Mercedes Guardian.

Then those mangy Rempit fucks can come crashing into my car all they like because I’ll make sure that I’ve got a gun on me.

Here are some pictures of poor Kangoo. When I started her up this morning she was shuddering like an epileptic. 😦

Her right face is bashed...

Her right face is bashed...


Broken teeth 😦

Where it started ...

Where it started ...

Bruised and scratched

Bruised and scratched

Not forgetting my knight at night, Michael :


Michael, Erik, Mei, Mel … and the rest I forgot


p/s : I estimate repairs to be around RM4000. That’s NZ$2000. There goes my savings for Boracay. FUCK.

Happy 2009!

First off, Merry Xmas and a Happy 2009! May the new year bring forth fertility and an abundance of prosperity 😀

I initially wanted to do a “What I bought in 2008” post to highlight my serious shopping addiction [I know every girl says that, but I kinda am addicted to shopping in er, rather unconventional places such as second hand shops, bargain bin hunting and my all-time favourite place, FOS].

But since it’s laundry day, fuck it.

So I’ve decided to outline *MY* achievements in 2008

It’ll be less depressing than discovering how much money I spent on pre-loved clothes [hey, they’re in good condition. Plus some of it’s really funky]

Mei Ng’s Achievements in 2008 [in no particular order]

1. Lost 2kg.

Fine, it’s not really an achievement because now my arms look like a pair of twigs sticking out from my torso. And my boobs are down from a C/D to a B/A 😦  Well, at least guys talk to my FACE instead of my BOOBS. Unless of course it’s due to that zit on my face the size of an egg.

2. Won at Kancils and Phoenix

Well it’s not really MY achievement as such, it’s also thanks to a tag-team effort by Pix.

3. Attained inner calm and serenity

All thanks to Bikram Yoga, of course! Yes some days I still am angus, but at least I can identify the source of my anger and address / act on it accordingly. So now instead of banging on my keyboard at work, I stare at my boss, start wailing and calling him DADDDEEEEEEEEEEE [can be accompanied by flailing arms or arm pulling or foot stomping] until he gives in. Heh heh heh. On a side note this tactic worked in Borders, because the section manager gave us a 10% discount on all our books. *cackle cackle.

4. Met many new friends

All thanks to Bikram Yoga again! I have 10 more friends on my address book, and things to do on the weekend [instead of just moping around or having conversations with the ceiling]

5. Pay increment

Although a small and paltry sum [I wanted double of what was given], I should be thankful that I even got a raise in these times of economic slumber. Thanks Don and Francis and WK! My first child’s birth certificate is officially 3 pages long

And other weird moments from 2008 …

1. Having just met a guy, he drunkenly tells me 20 minutes later he’d like to shove his tongue down my throat 😯  I blame FY for introducing me to this weirdo.

2.  My hardcore Kiwi accent made a comeback when I pretended to be a Kiwi to escape evangelising women in a mall.

3. Finding out that the world is really too small for my liking. Damn, there goes my chance of cartwheeling in public in a bikini.

4. Being chatted up by a 30 [maybe nearly 40] year old man at immigration. I’m so going to get some Clarins anti aging product, STAT!

5. Being told that I don’t look Malay. Uhhh….

6. And last but not least, realising that I have the exceptional ability to drool like a baby even when I’m awake. Of course, this only happens when I’m tired and can’t string a coherent sentence to save my sorry ass redface

Here’s wishing all 10 of you a happy 2009!