Monthly Archives: February 2009

Learning to Fly

There comes a time when I must simply STOP correcting other people’s fuck-ups.

Fuck-up once and I fix it, that’s fine. Fuck-up too many times, and I’m starting to wonder how old you really are. Especially when I have to fix your personal fuck-ups.

Excuse me, but who do you think I am? Your personal shrink? You don’t fucking pay me enough to fix your fuck-ups, let alone mend your sordid personal affairs.

M*

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A List of 25

and probably more.

Since I’ve got nothing that interesting to talk about [besides the fact that I went for TWO Bikram Yoga classes back-to-back on Saturday and attended 1 class on Sunday, which means my body has the consistency of jelly], I shall regale all my 3 1 readers about 25 random, useless facts about myself. This tag has been making the rounds on Facebook as well.

1. Must absolutely follow a morning ritual of waking up, yoga (where possible) and having breakfast while reading the papers and THEN having a shower.

2.Grammar and spelling queen. Just cause I’m anal that way.

3. Has recently taken up the habit of taking a crap naked. Maybe that’s why I don’t like using the office toilets – too much of a hassle to disrobe and put everything back on again.

4. Loves Guinness stout.

5. Needs to build strength in Yoga. To heck with flexibility when I can’t even push myself upright.

6. Too flexible 😦

7. Fluent in English, Spanish, Italian, Malay and pidgin Cantonese, Hokkien, German and Latin.

8. Aims to attend Teacher Training by end of 2010.

9. Used to keep a pet frog until it hopped away from the pond.

10. Guilty pleasure #1 – listening to Britney Spears.

11. Guilty pleasure #2 – throwing my sanitary waste on that annoying neighbour’s car.

12. Drinks around 4-6 litres of water a day. Probably more if I attend a Bikram yoga class.

13. Adopted a cat and named her Salabhasana. Decided the name was too long, so it’s now Bella.

14. Loves green tea anything.

15. Has gaps in her back teeth whereby veggies and meat continually like to get stuck in.

16. Loves to eat crab but is too damn lazy to peel it apart.

17. Couldn’t be arsed to apply make up to work.

18. Misses her Renault Kangoo.

19.Wants to learn how to play the clarinet.

20. Secretly [er, not so secret now?] wishes she has more narrow feet so she”ll be able to wear dainty little heels.

21. Wishes she could draw.

22. Loves the hot room and prefers the hot over the cold.

23. Hates Heineken, reckons the beer tastes like piss.

24. Wonders why is she being overworked and underpaid.

25. Wants to retire in Ireland / Scotland New Zealand.

26. Wonders why she’s liking what she does, but isn’t doing what she likes.

27. Hates  fucktards who bring on the fireworks resulting in disturbed sleep and my dog banging and clanging away.

28. I wish my neighbours, all the annoying atypical Chinese ones that is, would wake up with syphillis and fuck off to a hole and die.

29. Am currently gearing up my fitness by practising Bikram Yoga 6 times a week. That’s doubles three times a week until my car comes back.

30. I just want to build MUSCLE and gain weight, not FAT! 😦

And there you have it!

M*

p/s : Who would like to watch Sarah Brightman LIVE in KL with me? 😀

Congratulations!

Since tis the season or year for my friends to be getting married, engaged or having babies, here’s a non-exhaustive list of congratulations for everyone!

Congratulations to those that have made the list. You have officially made me look like an old dried up hag next to all of you. 😛

Tania Melissa Ang

Rosalind Hong

Ting Wu

Bhavi Bhika

Lesley Kan

Eldon & Abie Pascual

Py py 😉

Since all of y’all are around my age, I reckon I’d be 27 32 before I get married. That’s old, decrepit, dried up, unwanted and shrivelled little old me.

And oh my God, I just realised I’m turning 24 in June. That’s mid-20s yo. Oh my GOD. I feel so old.

*runs and hides under the covers.

M*

The Etymology of ‘Rempit’

An intensive and extensive study in a Malaysian Menace by Professor Junaidi b. Aminuddin

Handsome Scientist / Awesome Detailer / Badass Biker Extraordinaire

 

Since my poor Kangoo ain’t back from the hospital yet, I bitched to Junaidi the Hottie [or Jun for short] about my woes of being car-less and cursing the menace that is the Rempit [illegal bikers who rev and speed on the motorway].

 

Here begins the Convo. Please note that since I’ve set my gmail in Spanish [laugh all you want, Heathens], Yo = Me / I = Mei.

 

 

junaidi: kapchai is a term derived from the honda cubs
  and who drove them?
 boys
  cub chais
 Yo: err
 where does the term rempit come from
 junaidi: hah! that is a whole different discussion

Yo: what’s the female equivalent of a rempit
 junaidi: minah
 Yo: minah?
  mat minah
 junaidi: no!
 mat = boy
  mohammad
 Yo: -__-
  phail
 junaidi: minah = aminah
 Yo: so er,
 junaidi: old school names
 Yo: minah rempit
  ??
 junaidi: yes
 Yo: woooooooooooooo
 junaidi: rempit probably came from the word rem
  why?
coz its like saying rpm
  quickly
  but retarded malay kids say ramp
 Yo: revolutions per minute
 junaidi: yes
 Yo: DOES NOT sound like REM!!!!!
 junaidi: yes i know
  but bare with me
  i mean bear
 Yo: okay, bare i shall
 junaidi: HAHAHAHA
 Yo: HAHAHAHAHAHA
junaidi: moving on
 Yo: you first
 junaidi: so you can say
  ramp it
  or rem it
  hence rempit
 Yo: ….
  there’s a malay movie
  rem-it
  or something like that
  about the life of a sad sorry rempit
  *SOB SOB SOB!
 such brilliant performances!
 junaidi: yes
 Yo: it makes me want to go and give them a hug
 junaidi: acherly there are several
 Yo: evolusi kl drift
 junaidi: KL menjerit
 Yo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 junaidi: and REMP-IT
 Yo: er, jun
  why do YOU know all these movie titles?
  …..
 junaidi: i do my research
  you know
 Yo: “idolaku remp-it”
 junaidi: purely educationly
  educationa
 damn it
 Yo: you cant even spell it right
  sayangku evolusi kl drift
  dengan si cantik dan seksi fasha sandha
 junaidi: ooooh
  yeah
 Yo: SHE’S UGLY
  omg lah
 junaidi: siaaaaal la
  she’s okay la
  not that bad
 Yo: she’s a stoner
 she aint that pretty
 junaidi: you think so?
  ~meh
 Yo: hanis zalikha
  now that’s a hot malay chick
 junaidi: but theres also aother variation to the origins of the word rempit
  you see
 Yo: such as?
  cause they keep on ramming into cars
  hence
  rem it, rempit
 junaidi: cheap old dirty malaysian bikes usually meant for speed demons
  are
  2 stroke bikes
  a characteristic of their engineering is their small narrow exhaust pipes
 when the throttle is turned
  you get this sound
 Yo: REMMM
 junaidi: reeeeengggg
  rennngeee
  remmmm
 Yo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 junaidi: reenenggg
  BUT
  because you’re in the lower gear
 Yo: when u turn it off it goes eeeeet
  ??
 junaidi: you get what you called back pressure
 causing a pop (due to vacuum)
  this pop ranges from
  BOOM
  to
  POT
  to Pit
  big harleys go BOOM
  small bikes
 Yo: ………
 junaidi: you get the idea
 Yo: you have got to be kidding me
 junaidi: i.e
  no i’m not
  i shall demo one day
 Yo: REEEEENNG and piiiit
 junaidi: yes
 Yo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  i shall blog about this
 junaidi: so at stationary mode
 Yo: The origins of Rempit
 junaidi: when mr i’m so cool my pants are too small
  and tight
 Yo: Dissertation by Junaidi Aminuddin
 junaidi: shows off by turning the throttle at stationary
  the soudn goes like this
  rreeeenggggggg pit pitpitpitpitpt …pit……..pit
  tadaa!
And there you have it folks!
M*

Boracay Part 2

Read more about Boracay here. And you certainly can’t go wrong with a Wiki Travel guide 🙂

Since the currency rate fluctuates all the time, get the latest exchange rates here. However, at the time I went, it was P100 = RM8.

Getting there

KUALA LUMPUR – MAKATI CITY

Kel and I booked our flights via the Super Saver fares with Malaysia Airlines [them being our national carrier and my client, before Kel’s agency came and stole them from us :p ].

Cost (incl surcharge, taxes, etc) : RM1142.00 for both

Price does not include airport departure tax of P750.00 per person.

MAKATI CITY – CATICLAN

April booked our tickets for P9816.00 for both. We then took a trishaw (P40) to the boat station, and paid around P100 per person to get to Boracay island itself.

Where to stay

We stayed at Casa Fiesta in Station 1 for a grand total of P8000 for our entire trip. That works out to be around RM160 a night. Sure it isn’t exactly a posh hotel, but the rooms are clean, there’s hot water, air conditioning and they come clean your room and change your sheets daily 🙂

Not so good thing was the occupant opposite our room kept on bringing back island companions [prostitutes] every night, sometimes two for one session! Thank goodness Kel and I didn’t hear any funky noises in the middle of the night. Either the walls are thickly padded, the prostitutes there are really quiet, or the activities just wiped us out.

Activities

And now, the obligatory post that you [all my 3 1 readers] have been waiting for : What the HELL did you do on an island for 4 days?!

First off, there are TONNES to do besides blithely posing around the beach with your bikini, sunnies and cocktail / beer of choice :

April and her mocktail

April and her mocktail

pymei

April & Mei

Babes by the beach

Babes by the beach. Pic courtesy of Py 😀

If you like my green Roxy bikini, thank April because she got it for me 😉 MWAH! ❤

My dieting tips are Guinness, beer, whiskey, fries every weekend and Bikram yoga 3-5 times a week.

A view of the beach. Please note that I did NOT photoshop / do any digital alteration to these photos [make the sky bluer! make the sand WHITER! clump some reefs here! take away my saddlebags and eyebags! cause it takes too much effort]

View from the plane

View from the plane

Cloudy beach

Cloudy beach

The weather at Boracay was mostly cloudy for the first 3 days I was there. Depressing! Fine sunny weather is from November to April, and locals say that the weather was a freak of nature. And boy was it cold at night! Thanks to the wind’s chill factor, I had to buy a sarong to serve as a shawl.

A typical walk by the beach

A typical walk by the beach

White sand beaches, clear blue waters and cloudy skies.

Feet

Feet

Waters so clear…

Suddenly I sea!

Suddenly I sea!

And so blue

Kelameity!

Kelameity!

D

I like this random shot of me taken by April 😀

Activities I did on Boracay included :

Banana Boating

What it is : You get on an inflated banana-shaped boat and get dragged by a speedboat around corners. Apparently someone died of a heart attack when the banana boat tipped over, so they don’t do rough / tight corners anymore. However, you can request them to do so 😀

The waters were choppy when we got on, so it was hell of a bumpy ride. I could’ve sworn I nearly got whiplash, while Tian Lun was enthusiastically going “LOOK, NO HANDS!” while we [especially ME since I was sitting in front and getting the brunt of the attack!] hung on for dear life and limb.

Banana boating!

Banana boating!

Yes, the photo looks like we’re cruising at a nice walking pace but trust me, I was hanging on for life lest I get thrown into the ocean. In fact, my butt flew off and I was airborne for around 2-3 seconds before I scrambled back onto the seat and crushed my thighs against the banana boat.

Cost : P400 per person. That WOMAN fucking conned us, it could’ve been P350 per person but she decided to cut our throats at the last minute. Bitch. I hope her cornrows fall out during sex.

Flying Fish

Contrary to its name, no we didn’t go fishing. In fact, what you do is you get on an inflated round-ish doughnut and get dragged by a speedboat ala Banana Boating. Except that while BB rocks you left and right, this one pulls you FORWARD and UP so it’s like a bucking horse. April was screaming half her lungs out and I was afraid she’d let go, fall onto me and we’d both fall into the ocean like Kel 😛

What happened to Kel was his legs slipped from underneath him and he clung on for about 3 seconds [resulting in him looking like Superman] while I yelled “JUST LET GO!”. He did, landed in the ocean, and it was major overhaul to get him back onto the Flying Fish 😛

No pictures cause there was no one to take it of us 😦

Cost : P300 per person. FUN!

ATV

All-Terrain Vehicle or ATV was one of the activities that Kel enjoyed 😀 We wented an ATV each and drove it up all the way to the mountains of Boracay and took some amazing photos there [which I will grab off April soon] . It was WINDY as all hell, and while we at the tallest photo-taking point, the entire rickety shack shook. Literally, I felt the earth move under my feet and I had to get Kel to bring me down [cause I was glued to the steps like a cat to catnip] 😛

And since we did drive on normal roads, it was a race between4 of us on the main road, with all of us attempting to overtake April and me blocking Kel’s path 😛

Cost : P600 for 1 hour. Bring extra cash to enter the phototaking point.


Horse Riding

AHHH My favourite of all!!!!!! Kel and I rented a horsy each for 1 hour, and pretty much took the same route all the way up to the halfway point of the mountain where we ATV’d our sorry arses there.

Kel and Black Beauty

Kel and Black Beauty

Island Hopping

Contrary to the name of this activity, we didn’t go hopping round the nearby islands of Boracay. Rather, it was a boat trip to 3 different spots in Boracay.

Stop 1 : We snorkeled in this spot for abit. A pity that Tioman’s a much nicer place for snorkeling, as there were heaps of sea urchins urgh near the corals [and when Kel dived into the waters, he very nearly stepped on 1!]

Stop 2 : We decided to skip this stop as we felt that snorkeling here wouldn’t be that great. Turns out we didn’t miss anything at all.

Stop 3 :  Where the sand is TRULY white, the waters a pale crystal blue and the perfect spot to do some camwhoring / yogic stunts :p

Standing Bow Pulling

Standing Bow Pulling

Backward Bend

Backward Bend

 

 

And that’s all for Part 2! 

 

 

M*