“Let It Go”
During Bikram Yoga practice, we are constantly told not to fight the emotions that come during class. As Sean would like to say :
“All the times you feel angry at work, you can’t tell that person off, you just keep it inisde? Well here’s your chance to let it all go. Don’t fight it, don’t reach for the towel, just let it go, laugh or cry”.
I surpressed a giggle, because at work, I’m not known to “keep it inside”. Creative head pissing me off? I tell him to fuck off. Can’t take leave to fix my car? I throw a bitch fit. Getting called even though I was on leave? I throw another bitch fit when I get back. Get blamed for not finishing my work even though I was on leave? I call him a fucking asshole and storm back to my place.
So it surprised me really when in class the other day I felt a slight tingly sensation on my chest, like butterflies in Pandora’s box trying to escape. I just breathed into it, and melted back into the ground. Suddenly it all came clear to me :
I forgive you for being such a crap manager, forgive you for calling my work crap, and I forgive you for not recognising or acknowledging my talent. Because I can, and will, do better.
I smiled at the ceiling, just in time for Sean to say “Flex your toes toward your face, arms up, cross your thumbs, sit up. And it’s time for Rabbit”.
Finally, I forgive. A little too late, but never too late.