“Hello, Public Bank?”
It is indeed very unfortunate that my home landline is similiar to a bank. Every day, EVERY single working day there is some poor sod who calls my home to either
a : Angrily ask to speak to a manager
b : Enquire about home / car / student / body loans
First time the person calls, I say “Wrong number” politely and hang up. If the same person calls back 2,3, more times in a row and INSISTS he dialled the correct number, so help me God….
So today another woman called asking to speak to some sort of manager. Me being me, I decided to have a little fun. Very harmless fun.
#1 : Hello, can I speak to the Consumer Advice Manager?
M* : Haaaa?
#1 : The MANAGER. This is Miss Lee calling.
M* : Manager sudah keluar cik, dia pi ambik mayat dari hospital. [The manager’s out miss, he went to collect corpses from the hospital.]
#1 : What?! Is this Public Bank?
M* : Bukan! Ni Rumah Mayat Mehsia. Cik nak buat tempahan tak? Bulan ni kita ada special…. [Nope! This is Malaysia Body Farm, would you like to place a booking? This month we’ve got a special package…]
#1 : *hurriedly Ok sorry *hang up
Another man called my line THREE times to angrily insist that I am, in fact, someone from Public Bank who is not taking his calls. He also threatened to call my “manager” to complain about my “attitude”. To which I cooly replied, “I have told you THREE TIMES that this is a RESIDENCE not a BANK. But if you insist that this is the number to a bank, then fine. Hello, Pubic Bank here”.*
He never called back. I wonder why…
* Inspired by my mum, who was so frustrated that she once muttered “Bank bank bank. Pubic Bank more like it!”