Supermassive Stalking

I’m currently stalking EVERY Palm Springs Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Spring 2009 blog there is right now to get my grubby paws on ANY sort of information! Things such as :

– Are towels provided? What about DARK coloured towels for females? You know, lest I bleed all over the damn place again. Ok ok, you’re right, I gotta keep my uterus in check.

– I read that there are no hot plates allowed whatsoever! Which means – is it possible to survive on peanut butter and banana / marmite and avocado sandwiches for 9 weeks?

– WHAT ABOUT MY VISA? This is insane. Just because I’m from a Muslim country DOES NOT mean that I too, am a Muslim. And NOT all Muslims are terrorists. Silence! I keel you!*

– If the visa thing is going to stress me out even more, I’d be better off being a mail order bride. Now to look through my list of friends [male or female, depending on which state that recognises same-sex marriages]. Hmm, should I call my high school friend and make him an offer he can‘t refuse?

– AIR TICKETS. Hot damn. Should I be patriotic and support my national carrier at this time of economic crises? Or should I be El Cheapo and get on the cheapest flight available [which would incur the wrath of 29384 or so stopovers … ]

– Communication! Apparently it’s US$6 for 30 minutes of internet [that’s like RM24], fuck me sideways, that’s expensive! Which brings me to my next point …

– Should I even blog / twitter about it?

blah blah blah and more.

Ok, time to get some rest. If you didn’t catch the *, it’s actually from a stand-up by Jeff Dunham. If you have yet to witness his WIT and GENIUS, watch it and weep. Yes sure he’s very un PC, but la di da, go fry a fish if you don’t like it.

M*

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Posted on June 2, 2009, in Bikram Yoga, Fun fun, Malaysiana. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. no hot plates? how would i survive? i have to eat constantly.

    and what kind of hotel doesn’t have some sort of free internet access these days? you’d think every room would be wired!

    the way my fundraising efforts are going, it will be awhile before i have to worry about this. hopefully they will still be in the desert when i make it out there.

    • Looks like it’s instant food, or at least food that’s cooked with hot water! Like icky oatmeal, instant noodles, a 5 course French dinner … I kid!

      Well apparently [so sayeth the trainees, that is] ALL rooms are wired, with a charge of US$x a day. Or computer stations in the lobby for US$6. I don’t fancy buying a laptop just to go to BYTT, unless someone’s kind enough to let me scab 30 minutes off theirs.

      Don’t worry about the funds! It’ll come! Remember : Set an intention, not an expectation. 🙂 ‘sides, BYTT will be there till 2012 at least.

  2. the more i hear about teacher training, the more it sounds like a really expensive summer camp. so far the only good parts are practising with bikram, watching movies with bikram and doing doubles everyday.

    • You forgot – learning all about the many wonders of the body!

      The super duper precise corrections for all types of bodies.

      ROAD TRIP! Or, in my case – I GET TO STEP ON AMERICAN SOIL FOR THE FIRST TIME.

      And meeting hundreds of other like-minded yogis 🙂

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