A few members of the male species at the local yoga studio really got my beef today. ROAR!

It is a known and acceptable fact that women who practice hot yoga or Bikram Yoga wear itty bitty shorts and a tank top/ bra top. No, this is not to show off our marvelously flat belly or curvaceous body. This is because yes, it is hot, and it will only get hotter in class, so obviously you don’t want getting cotton soaked through and through only to weigh 2tonnes by tadasana [yes, I sweat THAT much!].

There was a first-timer who joined the class. Before class he was literally oogling at the females who were wearing bra tops and shorts / 3/4 pants. Could literally see his tongue hanging out of his mouth and if you were to listen carefully, he was panting like a dog in heat. After the final savasana, my mum caught him staring at my friend [who was wearing her cute Shakti shorts]’s pubic area. Mum gave him the evils [you can’t exactly yell “FUCKING PERVERT!” while other people are relaxing] before he got the hint and dragged his perverted self out the door.

The next day, he came to class again, only this time, during final savasana, as I did a half spine twist on the floor [love doing this to crack my lower back], I caught him checking ME out. I gave him the mother of all evils before he slowly turned away like a cat caught stealing the jug of cream and sauntered out the room. Fucking pervert.

Not to mention a few males who were SO OBVIOUSLY staring at women’s chests / ass during certain postures. To these males, I say :

Get a life. You come to Bikram Yoga to improve your health, not check out other nubile bodies. We females know how to avoid wardrobe malfunctions, so if you’re hoping for a nipple slip, you’d best be taking off your own shirt and looking at your own nipples. While you’re at it, why not you twiddle them left and right and twist it off to do us all a favour. If you’re looking for a little camel toe action, rejoice, for there may be some. However, if you’re hoping to catch a glimpse of a cunt flap / vajayjay lip dropping out of our shorts, I’m sorry, Shaktis are pretty good in helping us ladies preserve our modesty. If seeing sweaty bodies bend and twist on a journey of health and self discovery turns you on, you’d be better off watching the Discovery channel because more sex happens there. Maybe a few scenes of rhinos mating in the savannah ought to be more interesting, with the added advantage of you being able to masturbate in the comforts of your own home.

Maybe you ought to bring your spouse / girlfriend to Bikram Yoga so you may be able to perve and fantasise all you want using her body as your source of inspiration. If you are single and trying to pick up the ladies after all your perving, you can forget about it, because we can most certainly smell your lecherous ways a mile away.


Posted on June 29, 2009, in Bikram Yoga, Malaysiana, Yuck. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Haha!

    Somehow I haven’t noticed any perverts at BYCH …

    Anyway, did you get my reply to your Shakti request? I haven’t got your email yet so wondering if you missed it.

    The gist of it was – just email me – we can work out how to get you what you want thru email. =)

  2. men were created to look, women created to be looked at. nuff said.

  3. seriously,its like going to a beach and not allowing anyone to admire your slender form. as you said, the pants and outfit stop itty bitty bits from falling out of pose what have you got to be afraid of?

    just smile and think to yourself, aaah I look THAT good. I think if you really are concentrating in class, you should only be looking at yourself.


    it could be that his eyes are misaligned. His brain is looking at you for guidance though it seems his eyes are poiting elsewhere.

    • It’s the age of equality. So that means I can look at male crotches when they are wearing speedos or board shorts, doesn’t it?

      And note I said after FINAL savasana that I noticed the perv staring around at the ladies’ crotch[es]. Don’t know bout you, but if there’s someone looking at MY crotch, or the crotch of my friend, mother, father, sister, brother, I’d torch them in the eye.

      If he’s looking at how to do the poses during the first class, that’s fine, but seriously, after class and looking around at crotches?

  4. well, you know when you’re being checked out or not. but i will say that, as a newbie, i did a lot of looking at women, but it was only to see how they were doing the poses. i prolly totally seemed like a creep, but that wasn’t my intention.

    what most people don’t realize about me is that i’m an artist. if i want to see you naked, all i have to do is close my eyes.

    hey! din’t you write a post back about wanting eye candy at your studio? who’s really the pervert?! 😉

    • I don’t mind or care if the newbie was looking at how to execute the poses. What disturbed me more was him LOOKING at CROTCHES AFTER class. Ugh.

      Eye candy is one thing, at least I don’t go looking at their crotches before, during and after class. Even if Megan Fox was standing in front of me.

    • I think most people can tell if you are looking at someone for pose guidance vs. staring at someone cuz you are turned on.

  5. LOL its savasana. At that stage of the class I felt like me head was 30 poundes lighter so I wouldnt be surprised if that perv was caught in a daze thinking , huh? where am I?

    you’re given that choice Mei if you wanna oggle at man bits, and they to have a choice of what to wear for class.
    nyeheheheh I’ll stick with my footie shorts

  6. (pun not intended)

  7. Wow, I think I am with Miss Mei here…..ogling is invasive and if I caught someone doing that, I’d be pissed. We had one creepy guy that used to freak out a few of the teachers. He’d always practice in front of the podium, not follow the dialogue and stare at the teachers. Anyways, he stopped practicing in about a month, hopefully your creepy dude will self select himself out of the studio. I’ve heard of teachers during class say things like “don’t look around” “look at yourself in the mirror”. I assume its to keep your focus on yourself.

    Another thing I’ve noticed….I have the tendency to practice in the hot corner. The hot corner gets mostly regular practitioners that are ladies (we have alot of regular males too, just not in the hot corner). Anyway, I was trying to switch it up recently, practicing in other places in the room. That’s when I got hit with the farters….so my lesson here is, stay in the hot corner.

    • That sounds SCARY. What do you mean by not follow dialogue, as in just STARE at the teachers?

      I don’t mind sharing the benefits of Bikram Yoga with others, but please, try not to ogle or stare, it’s rude and it freaks people out!

      Aiee! The hotter the better, I guess 🙂 But it’s good to practice with other quirks, helps you develop more focus and concentration [unless someone’s been eating really pungent food :s ]

      • Well, I think he was doing the poses, just not moving in unison with everyone else. He would leer at the teachers (I’ve heard three female teachers talk about it with me separately). And he’d get annoyed when the teachers would remind the class (or call him out specifically) to move together.

        I like my hot corner. It is also very consistent temperature wise. I know when I practice near the door or the window, all I think about is the stupid door or window. Like bringing water into the class with you.

      • You’re right, I should stop bringing my gigantic water bottle in. Teachers say that it scares them 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: