60 Days To Hell & Back

Ah, finally, as promised. All about my 60 day / 107 day / 120++ class challenge!

It was hell, it was heaven, it was a real mix of emotions all rolled into one heck of a challenge. There were days I felt like a lump of turd, and there were days where I felt like a champion. There were days that I looked like a carcass after being dragged through the mud, and there were days where I looked glowing / absolutely positively HOT [according to fellow benders, but this was towards the end of the challenge].

I shall summarise my journey via the following categories. [Oh wow, I sound so formal now!] :

The Mental / The Emotional

Day 20-28 : I hit my LOWEST point ever. I felt so depressed, totally worthless, utterly useless, and possibly the WORST daughter any family could ever have. That and coupled with personal matters that cropped up later, I would drag my sorry flat ass to class and think : Just what in the bloody FUCK am I doing here? I did NOT pay RM1890 for this shit! Oh I want to kill you Erik / Jakob / Sean / Mei L. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN SUCK ON MY DICK! *rinse, repeat, for 90 minutes.

In other words, weepy, depressed. I cried several times during class, during the most inopportunte of moments [setting up for Rabbit with tears and sweat dripping down my face, coming up for Full Locust trying to breathe and not sound like a choking / dying cat, coming out of Camel trying to control my sobbing racking body – did I mention I was always front row when this happens?!]. Surprise surprise, after a good cry, I felt SO MUCH better. A friend asked, “Is that what BIKRAM YOGA does to you? Make you cry? Did it help you become a better person?”, and I’d say “Yes, it helped me get rid of my excess baggage, and I’m not sure if I’m a better daughter / person because of it, but it certainly helped with letting go of all the hurt, sadness, confusion, anger, disappointment I’ve been through my life [and that’s A LOT]”.

Day ?? : There are days [like today] where I’m so smiley and happy clappy it would FREAK anyone who knew me 8 years ago. Seriously.You know, the days where you smile at everything and suddenly the world just seems a little brighter, although everyone around you is wearing a goddamn surgical mask.

Day ?? : And then there are days where I get oh so emotional, even the teenist tiniest bit of emotion will trigger waterworks. Example : OH the kitten is hungry! *tears start welling up. I blame the hormones. I blame the damn progesterone and estrogen and WHATEVER -terone.

The Physical

I haven’t lost ANY weight, but as of today, I weigh 45.5kg. In fact, I think I started losing too muchΒ  that the studio director once told me “Mei, you need to eat!”. Though I’ve noticed that I’ve toned up more and I’m *finally* losing those dreaded muffin tops.

For those of you who are starting your challenge [be it 30 or 60 Day], my advice is : The goal is NOT to lose weight drastically in a short period of time. Your body is changing, and with it comes all the wonderful goodness of a healthy spine, better inner plumbing *nods vigorously* and the MENTAL CLARITY / appreciation for the little things around you. Honestly, if I could, I’d love to tone up a little more and get back a bit more curves. I reckon that I now look like a boy with my sinewy hard and bony body that only a man who has a weird fetish could like. I know the “perfect” yoga body [as displayed by 2009 Champion Courtney Mace] is as such, but damn, I’d love to have a little padding on my chest and butt.

THE SEX DRIVE

Aha, I know you’ve all been waiting for this juicy bit of update. Folks, my SEX DRIVE was UP THE WALL, OVER THE CEILING, ALL THE WAY SHOOTING UP INTO SPACE. Ahem.

It felt almost as though I’m some horny 17 year old lacrosse jock who’s on the prowl, or even Samantha Jones from Sex and The City. Seriously. I’d be out with my friends [guy watching, heh], and point out a guy and go “Yes, I’d tap him”. They’d look at me in horror, almost as though I told them, “I just stuck my finger up your dad’s butthole and he loved it”.

That being said, a friend keeps on teasing me mercilessly about Vegas. “Oho, you’re gonna be so randy when you get there. And you know WHAT, you finally get to try WHITE MEAT!”.

“Oh sod off. I am going there for yoga study, not body study”.

“Nevertheless, don’t forget to pack the condoms ya!” he replied.

On a more ironic note, even IF I do, I’d be packing rubber from Malaysian trees, processed in Thailand, to be brought over to the USA. How’s that for a transcontinental fuck?

My friend, I shall be like the desert. HIGH AND DRY. That and I’ve got another man on my mind to bonk the living daylights out of. πŸ˜‰

The Emotional

Cool, calm collected. Things that used to faze / irritate / annoy / get me jumpy don’t seem to do so anymore. That being said, I still have yet to beat the living daylights of anyone who calls me “fucking idiot”.

Verdict :

60 days / 107 days / 120++ classes really does help. BUT, don’t do it purely to see certain fast results [eg weight loss, I want to get strong arms, etc]. Do it for YOURSELF with little / no expectations. In other words, go with the flow / however your body’s reacting! I’ve heard of people coming in just so they can lose a dress size in time for their wedding and I’m thinking “Oh LORDY! *facepalm*”. Because to me, personally, that’s not what YOGA is about.

Enough about me yapping my gob off, here are some photos that I took last week [that I promised J to upload, and shall now do so] :

Standing Head to Knee (3rd Part)

Standing Head to Knee (3rd Part)

Is it just me, or is my right leg RIDICULOUSLY overlocked?! It honestly looks like a photoshop disaster, no, wait, a photoshop catastrophe. And excuse that little blubber peeking out. I just had dinner and no, that’s not ALWAYS my excuse. I literally had a pizza in my tummy while doing this. And the left big toe? Well, er, I’ve actually got a bunion on the toe so it causes me great difficulty to really point the damn toe in.

Standing Head to Knee (4th part)

Standing Head to Knee (4th part)

Ah, the concentration part. I wish my forehead were up higher, but then again, apparently we Asian people suck at forward bending [or maybe it’s just me].

Standing Bow Pose

Standing Bow Pose

Staaaaaaaaaanding spliiiiiits for competition. Whoops truncated leg!Β  At this rate, I honestly couldn’t be stuffed, teacher training is more important! At least my heels are in 1 line, though my left arm could be down just a tad, and my right shoulder rotated out more, and my body down just a tad. WHOPEE, my elbows aren’t doing the weird gangly / unsightly bending bit that grossed me out when I first saw a picture of myself doing this posture. Oh, and yes, chin should be up touching the shoulder.

Sasangasana

Sasangasana

Wow my Rabbit looks more like a melted golf ball. Hips should be up more, though I’m not sure if I’m putting too much strain on my neck. And look at that belly, JUST LOOK AT IT! LOL!

Ustrasana (Camel)

Ustrasana (Camel)

I remember someone sniggering and saying this posture ought to be renamed “Camel Toe” -_-

Lookey, my hips aren’t too far forward, HOORAY! And boobs chest pushing up towards the ceiling. Elbows are still doing some weird funky bending, though I’m more concerned with how far forward my hips are pushing. Please excuse the belly, that calzone simply isn’t digesting too well. And what did I tell you about my flat ass, huh?! πŸ˜›

Full Camel

Full Camel

Hmm I think my back needs a little bit more work. Went down into the posture a different way [hands on hips until my head’s all the way down backwards] instead of just doing a backward bend into my feet. J, don’t I look like a table after it was beaten by a bunch of thugs? πŸ˜›

And so ends my entry, together with a collection of not so pretty pictures. I’d insert a few manly jokes about my figure here, but I’ve had enough of being called “Mister NG” and “Boy”.

M*

p.s : Maybe I ought to grow my hair long and start wearing nail polish / eyeliner whenever I go out.

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Posted on August 31, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Yay, you do NOT look like you have been beaten by thugs!!!!!!!!! LOL.

    This is a GREAT summary. Hmm, so many things I could respond to….! Dude, there IS no “perfect” yoga body. Courtney’s body is Courtney’s body. There have been champions who had some curves. Bikram makes fun of the skinny ones for being too skinny sometimes. You can totally be good at yoga and still have boobs. (I hope, for myself! I have more curves than I used to and I kinda like it!!)

    Your rabbit is GOOD!! No REALLY. For your “spine type”? That is great. And it’ll keep getting better. As long as you’re feeling the stretch, the posture is always good. Standing head to knee is REALLY GOOD, too. I bet you could just lift UP your quads more and bring your weight forward into your toes. Try experimenting with it while looking sideways in the mirror sometime before class – see how much you have to KICK to get your hips forward over your foot. All about the kick!! That’s what I had to do (and I am still working on it aaaalllll the time.) Camel is also good! Don’t worry bout the elbows. I really don’t think that matters. And I am a little bit jealous of your nice SMOOTH backbend!

    Great postures, great attitude, and it’s all just gonna get better and better. πŸ™‚ xoxo

    • Thank you! I know that how your “yoga body” looks is entirely dependent on the genetic make up and what not, but I’ve been told that *some* people who were competing in the championships have been told to lose weight, and I was like “?!?!”

      Thanks for the tip about putting more weight forward onto the toes. Just tried it and I feel more.. stable πŸ™‚

      This is silly, I’d like to take it up with the Spine Gods to not be so racist.

      • Told to loose weight by WHO?! That is fucking BULL SHIT. Way to completely miss the point. If I ever heard someone say that I would turn around and smack them in the face!!!

        You already have a more flexy spine than like 90% of human beings, so, you know, don’t stress it. Just wait til you teach and you see what “normal people’s” postures look like….!!!

      • Not the benders here, but from what I’ve heard from a teacher, some competitors overseas were told to lose a little extra poundage, which frankly, I thought to be ridiculous as well!

        NOBODY said that bigger girls couldn’t do yoga! 😦 But that’s a whole new can of worms…

  2. gee mei, you are so critical of your postures! awesome work, thank you!!

  3. I’m likin’ the standing bow! You have great postures mei! And don’t be so dang hard on yourself girl! Like J said, there is no perfect yoga body. Me and my **ahem** curves (if that’s what you want to call the 30 extra pounds on my five foot nine frame) go into the room and just rock it out the best we can!
    Thanks for sharing the pics. It would be great to see your “after training” pics on those same postures. You are going to get so strong practicing twice a day at TT!!!
    Michelle

    • I’d love my curves back! I was actually a C before I started, now I’m a B/ A! The best part is that now men don’t talk to my chest anymore *cringe.

      When I’m down in Vegas we can totally geek out and take yogaphotos / videos of each other πŸ™‚

  4. i feel like doing a 60 day challenge after reading this! i must be mad…

  5. Observation : Bikram makes practitioners horny bipolars. πŸ˜€ (prepares to get flamed)

    The way your spine bent at that sharp angle in ‘Full Camel’ looks kinda scary too haha.

    Despederata : Do it then! You were supposed to start a few weeks ago. Too many distractions? πŸ˜›

    • I’m NOT bipolar! *kick kick whack kick whack whack punch.

      I just have excess emotions that needed to be drained out. Ahem.

      This version of full camel had me using too much of my lower spine when it should be total spine backward bending. Will take a new pic of myself doing a better one in time πŸ˜‰

  6. your prose is hilarious.

  7. mei! cant wait to have you as an instructor! then after class we can go have dinner? can? can?

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