If I Were A Boy…

Ok enough of the stupid Beyonce song. Seriously, hearing that blared at the dB level of a MIG fighter jet taking off can even make Michael Jackson [bless his soul] do the moonwalk in his coffin.

Packed my clothes for 615pm yoga. After work out shorts, CHECK! Undies, CHECK! Top, CHECK!],

As I unpacked before class [I don’t like getting my bra squashed!], I rummaged my bag for my bra so that I can hang it out on a hangar.

*dig dig scuffle scuffle

Hmmm.

*dig, scuffle, turn bag inside out.

Fuck. I forgot to pack my bra.

To add insult to injury, I packed a WHITE top to wear post yoga. Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife. NOOOOOOOOOO! *wails and tears hair out.

I know, I should really cut down on the swearing.  NOT GOOD for a yogini / future teacher!

If you’re wondering how I managed to step out of the house without a bra, I actually wear my yoga outfit underneath a top and hop into the car, park near the gym and pop into the studio. Unless there’s no parking nearby and I do the “Walk of Shame” from wherever I parked to the gym, in my short short Shaktis with men leering at me. I have yet to exercise my middle finger for fear that  the louts may very well lop it off with a machete. That and as my mum says, “Well, you’ve given them a mini heart attack and probably added some thrill to their life. MAYBE you even gave them a little tent to pitch!”

“ewwwwwwwwww!!!!” I responded.

Stupidly enough, although I forgot to pack my bra, I have 2 pairs of undies in my bag. *forehead palm.

So after class, it was a mad DASH to the car hoping that my nipples won’t decide to potrude through my top and greet everyone on the sidewalk. Though now looking back, since I’ve got short, toussled hair ala R-Patz and was wearing baggy shorts, I could easily pass off as a boy.

To make things worse, I wanted to skip over to Mickey Mc D’s for some Fish o Fillet / French Fries loving, but decency prevented me from doing so. “What if we’d recognise someone there and next thing you know on FB and twitter there’ll be a message going ‘HEY MEI, SAW YOU AT MCD’S, NEVER WEAR BRA?’ ”

Sigh. So I headed home to order McDelivery instead and missed out on the awesome RM5.95 dinner promo.

And now I’m quite tempted to save up some money for a boob job after The Boyfriend said “Your tits are like Atlantis.”

“Huh? What? Atlantis wasn’t FLAT!”

“No no, as in, it existed, but now it’s lost. Gone. Reality turned to myth. Myth turned to legend. Legend to…”

“REALITY!”

“………..”

M*

p.s : ok ok, danna-san, that was the LAST of the boy jokes. If I get another boy joke on MSN I’m lopping your balls off when I see you next. With a cheese cutter.


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Posted on September 3, 2009, in Bikram Yoga, Malaysiana, Perso-mei-lly, Yuck. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Too bad you didn’t have McGuyver instincts. You could have made a makeshift bra from your two undies. And why couldn’t you wear a double layer with your earlier top?

    That aside. BE PROUD THAT YOU HAVE BOOBS GIRL!

    • Double layer? Eh?

      Yoga top + yoga shorts with t shirt over it. Pray tell how I may “double layer” it.

      Speaking of McGuyver instincts, I know you’re gonna laugh at this, but I was quite tempted to wear my undies over my head to conceal my ID ala superhero style and dash to my car. That being said, since everyone at the studio recognises me, I decided not to. Hah!

      p.s : Boobs, or what’s left of em. ;(

  2. Nipples? Who outlawed them? Id like to give them a piece of my mind! Nipples are natural and beautiful and it sucks that a closed minded society has made us embarrased to have our nipples show through our clothes.
    I say SCREW THEM!

    Dana (ripping off my bra)

    THERE that feels better!

  3. Oooh, funny post and funny comments so far! Love it!
    I’m with Dana! (rips off bra)
    Oh shit, I’m at work!!

  4. HAHAHAHA! I actually am bra-less when I’m at home. Nothing like giving the twins some space to move around.

  5. lol. i stopped reading you ages ago and decided to just have a nosy. good to see you’ve not lost your wit

  6. live long and prosper… aramaitie….

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