“This Posture Give You Mini Heart Attack…”*

“… so you won’t get a real one 20 years down the road”.

Yes, the favourite quip from our dear teachers everytime we come out of Balancing Stick [Tulandandasana]. Your heart is pounding furiously against the ribcage, threatening to burst forth and land on your pristine white towel, still thudding – a giant red ruby thumping away on your sweaty, white towel. You’re dizzy, confused, and probably feel like your heart is gonna break [Or as Rich says, “Don’t worry, yoga won’t break your heart. Only love will”].

In fact, I just had a mini heart attack while completing my online US Visa application. It consists of many steps / procedures, from online booking to answering questions like “Have you ever been convicted of terrorist activity” Ya’d think that if I were a REAL terrorist I’d say YES?! to “Have you ever been convicted of pimping / prostituition” [along more formal lines].

Dum de dum de dum, happily completing my form, answering ALL the questions and happily clicking “NO” where appropriate. La di da di da. *hums a singing happy song.

Until I tried opening a PDF document on Google Chrome. [I LOVE Chrome. Well, loved.]


“Your version of Adobe is outdated you recluse. Please update it, you swine” [in nicer terms, obviously].

So off I went to update my version of Adobe PDF Reader.

*returns back to US Embassy website and CLICK on document

And an empty page pops up with an Adobe error.

Rinse repeat 6 times.

Started sweating like a pair of wet donkey balls in the middle of an Indian summer. Was tempted to IM the nearest resident geek on my contact list to ask for help [“Do you think if I print screen the whole thing and stitch it in Photoshop they’d realise?!”], but remembered that he was off taking a shower or playing PS3 or doing whatever geeks do on Friday nights.

And what does Yoga tell us to do? Breathe deeply, calmly. Stay calm. [*little Mei voice going “AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT!”]. Breathe.

So I  took a few deep breaths and nearly passed out from all that oxygen lo and behold. The answer came to me.

Copy pasted the URL into firefox and prayed that it works. [I think I’m using up all my prayer points].

AHA! It worked a charm!

Managed to get my documents in order and happily printed it all out]. *beams.

So today’s lesson is : When stressed – breathe. relax. think. don’t move. eyes open.

And have faith!



Posted on September 5, 2009, in Bikram Yoga. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. And also: Firefox is the best. 😉

    Good job using your yoga skills to do paperwork!!

    • Ah, but that’s the whole point of yoga, to take the lessons and apply it in real life, and become a better person because of it 🙂

      *whine. I used Chrome when I was working and switched back to Firefox when working from home. Chrome can take a hike to Rome. Pah!

  2. You would have saved a lot of time and stress if u just messaged the resident geek LOL. He was busy updating his blog.. 😛

    • I know resident geek takes long showers. Resident geek was also complaining about how he ought to pay attention to his PS3 and what not.

      I did not want to disturb resident geek, so there.

      I just activated my gag reflex thinking of the PS3, gag gag gag.

  3. GOD, just reading about technology makes my heart pressure go up! ;p

    I think I shall go do some yoga.

    neo- luddite

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