“This Posture Give You Mini Heart Attack…”*
“… so you won’t get a real one 20 years down the road”.
Yes, the favourite quip from our dear teachers everytime we come out of Balancing Stick [Tulandandasana]. Your heart is pounding furiously against the ribcage, threatening to burst forth and land on your pristine white towel, still thudding – a giant red ruby thumping away on your sweaty, white towel. You’re dizzy, confused, and probably feel like your heart is gonna break [Or as Rich says, “Don’t worry, yoga won’t break your heart. Only love will”].
In fact, I just had a mini heart attack while completing my online US Visa application. It consists of many steps / procedures, from online booking to answering questions like “Have you ever been convicted of terrorist activity” Ya’d think that if I were a REAL terrorist I’d say YES?! to “Have you ever been convicted of pimping / prostituition” [along more formal lines].
Dum de dum de dum, happily completing my form, answering ALL the questions and happily clicking “NO” where appropriate. La di da di da. *hums a singing happy song.
Until I tried opening a PDF document on Google Chrome. [I LOVE Chrome. Well, loved.]
“Your version of Adobe is outdated you recluse. Please update it, you swine” [in nicer terms, obviously].
So off I went to update my version of Adobe PDF Reader.
*returns back to US Embassy website and CLICK on document
And an empty page pops up with an Adobe error.
Rinse repeat 6 times.
Started sweating like a pair of wet donkey balls in the middle of an Indian summer. Was tempted to IM the nearest resident geek on my contact list to ask for help [“Do you think if I print screen the whole thing and stitch it in Photoshop they’d realise?!”], but remembered that he was off taking a shower or playing PS3 or doing whatever geeks do on Friday nights.
And what does Yoga tell us to do? Breathe deeply, calmly. Stay calm. [*little Mei voice going “AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT!”]. Breathe.
So I took a few deep breaths and nearly passed out from all that oxygen lo and behold. The answer came to me.
Copy pasted the URL into firefox and prayed that it works. [I think I’m using up all my prayer points].
AHA! It worked a charm!
Managed to get my documents in order and happily printed it all out]. *beams.
So today’s lesson is : When stressed – breathe. relax. think. don’t move. eyes open.
And have faith!