Clap If You Believe In Fairies & The Dialogue!

Hey everyone.

I did something horrible today. Oh so horrible. A horrendous, horrid, awful terrible thing! I’ve actually run out of synonyms for horrible.

Our very dear Studio Director conducts Posture Clinic [or, MOCK posture clinics I should say] to prepare Melanie and I for TT. It’s basically the same as regular good ol’ Posture Clinic as in Training – you get up and “teach” a few postures to each other. I was told to “Stop moving / fidgeting around” and “Stand six inches apart. It looks more confident. NO NOT TOO WIDE, that’s 1 foot!”[At this point I sniggered and said that I looked more like a cow giving birth].

Memorising the dialogue and mumbling it to yourself is definitely one thing. Getting UP onto the podium and talking it out is another. Where I thought I had the standing series down to pat, it turns out that I didn’t!

In other words you’re trying to touch the ceiling I did not do it verbatim :o( [You see, the dialogue seems to creep into my daily conversation. Eventually, in the future, I will probably be talking in dialogue only. Crap.]

I BUTCHERED Tree pose, awkward pose, oh basically almost every posture in the standing series. Missed out chunks in Standing separate leg stretching [“Hah, students will love you cause you hold the posture for 3 seconds”] and basically mucked up the last paragraph for Eagle pose [“DON’T DO THAT! Your students will call you the asshole teacher. Yes, I’m serious”]

Where the dialogue said “Right leg lift up”, I said “Bring your right leg up”.

“NO!” said Studio Director. “It’s more of a command. Don’t try to turn it into perfect English. FOLLOW the dialogue. It is prescription. FOLLOW THE DIALOGUE!”

“Ok!”

Every single time I miss out chunks in the dialogue, a Bikram fairy loses her wings. If her wings are gone, then her limbs are twisted out of proportion.

The moment I start jumbling up the dialogue, a Bikram fairy gets suckerpunched in the face.

When I start adding non-dialogue stuff in it “Exhale breathing, suck your stomach in”[There is no EXHALE BREATHING in Garurasana!], “Flex your foot towards your face” [FLEX foot is in SECOND set, NOT first!], a Bikram fairy gets clothes pegs stuck on her delicate skin. And you know, Bikram fairies are no bigger than clothes pegs!

So please everyone. Please do a little clap and dance if you want to help these fairies out. They’re majorly pissed at me, so I don’t think all my clapping and hopping like a monkey on fire is going to help.

*clap clap!

Body down leg up, come down leg up, EVERY MUSCLE CONTRACTED!

Er, yeah.

M*

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Posted on September 9, 2009, in Bikram Yoga, Fun fun, Malaysiana, Perso-mei-lly. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. **clap, clap** **awkward attempt at dance**
    I sure hope some poor fairy got at least one butchered wing back. 😉
    Keep at it Mei! You’re going to be awesome!
    Michelle

  2. Clapping so hard my hands hurt……….. 🙂

  3. BWAAAAHAHAHA… I DO believe in fairies, I DO believe in fairies!!! CLAPCLAPCLAP

    You’re getting all the kinks out EARLY, AND you obviously understand the value of verbatim dialogue, so you’re already WAY ahead of the game as far as I can tell!

    “Can I do it again?” “NO.” HAH!!!!! 🙂

    • Yes! And just to be a complete dickhead to me, SD made me do LEFT LEG for Balancing Stick. BLAH.

      I love verbatim dialogue! It’s just that I kinda pick up stuff from the teachers, additional corrections… and I “spice” up dialogue a little.

      BAD BAD BAD MEI.

      • Darling, that doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you a human being. 🙂

        At least your SD did the right/left trick to you on balancing stick, which is pretty straightforward, and not on triangle or eagle or something like that! (SPINE TWIST AUGH.) But it is still a little evil….

      • whoops sorry, 7am Brain talking.

        I meant, standing head to knee. So it was quite tricky!

        “RIGHT KNEE LOCKED! er, LEFT LEG LIFT UP!”

        Har har! He was SO EVIL, he made us do the warm up postures in a row, then chose any posture from the standing series and WHAM! Ended with us being able to choose “Can I do savasana?”
        “NO”

  4. Thank you guys! 3 lovely yoginis clapping to revive Bikram fairies! Loves! ❤

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