Careful Who You Talk To…
As it is my last weekend in KL before heading off to TT, decided to haul ass down to the city centre to get my flat-ass kicked in advanced class – only because I will miss Jakob and his wicked sense of humour.
Gonna digress a little here – he can’t believe that some local political party *COUGH C OUGH* is against Beyonce coming over to perform because she’s ‘sexy’. “Not because she’s black or anything?” asked Jakob incredulously. “Nah, it’s cause she’s SEXY and will cause us to have slack morals yada yada yada” I replied while setting up for Pigeon. They pulled the same excuse with Gwen Stefani, Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna… and even had the nerve to say that Michael Learns to Rock is deviant. Honestly, what’s wrong with the song “25 minutes”?!
“But you know, I’ve seen WORSE advertising around the mall – and some girls dressing up with half their ass hanging out of their pants!” he replied
“… oops sorry”.
“Not you, Mei. You don’t flash your ass in class”
So happy to know that even with my flat ass [I honestly do have a flat ass. In fact, it’s so goddamn flat, I can’t fill out my size S Shakti shorts and buying pants is a real -yep- pain in the ASS] I’m not mooning anyone behind me. They say you get a great ass from yoga, it’s been 2 years and I want my goddamn money back! [kidding, really!].
Before class started, an American guy [let’s call him C] asked when I was headed off to Vegas.
C : Ahh, Vegas. Never been there before.
M* : Apparently it’s quite fun!
C : LOTS of Asians there, though. Asians like to gamble, and I’m part Asian, so Vegas is a no-no for me. Lots of Asians apply to go to Vegas for tourism purposes, though.
M* : BAH, US tourist visa! It was so difficult to get mine! The weird questions the officer asked… [rant rant rant].
C : Oh, they just want to see if you’re nervous or are hiding something, as people who have stuff to hide or are not honest are jumpy with the answers…
M* : ..waitamin, how do you know so much?
*fellow bender sitting next to us pipe up* : That’s cause he works for the US Embassy.
Ladies and gents, it was as though a big giant neon “FML” sign was lit right above my head.
Righty ho. And to think that only minutes before I joked “Hey, I got my visa! Looks like I won’t have to marry anyone to get in! 😀 “. Well, at least he was nice and played along, “Oh damn, I was about to propose to you”.
Since we’re on a roll, let me tell you this rather awesome awkward story that happened to me last night while at my farewell.
It was SUPER awesome – thank you everyone who showed up!
A guy sitting at my 12 o’ clock was staring at me. Rather intently. It didn’t help that he was kind of cute. Pleasant looking. Looks to be around mid-30s. I like older men, I find males my age rather juvenile. Let me reiterate that – he was staring at me. Not at Hazel or her gigantic tits. Not at Vic. But ME.
Awesome, it must be the haircut, I LOVE IT! Must remind to thank Phillip…. I thought to myself.
After a few rather uncomfortable moments, he was STILL staring at me. What the fuck, can’t a girl swig her beer and chomp pizza in peace? EVERYTIME MY EYES MET HIS – he’d still be staring at me. OK Mister Weirdo, you are creeping me out.
Curiosity got the better of me after a few minutes. Turned around to make sure that he wasn’t staring at the group of drunk men behind me… and lo behold. 4 feet behind me, just right above my head, was a giant LCD with some sort of football [that’s soccer to the Americans] game going on.
Oh. Right. Staring at the TV, not me.