Falling Off, On, Over, Backwards.
The podium, that is.
Ya’d think that standing on TWO FEET on a podium whilst not doing any balancing postures [hello, Standing Bow!] will make me nimble and steady on my feet… but noooo. Oh no.
As of 1st March 2010, I have fallen 3 times off the podium, twice onto the podium [which I will go into detail soon] and once backwards.
For all ye future #bktt trainees, posture clinics is where you can learn how to stay on the podium. Basically a large towel from the lovely Hilton serves as a podium marker, and god knows how many times I have “fallen off” said podium. “Very good Mei, but please stay on the towel”. But I can’t see my students [poor hapless volunteers], I protested, as I am vertically challenged.
How to fall off : Basically, it goes something like this : as I’m trying to get a closer look at my students, I lose my footing and fall off. Sounds something like this : Blah blah blah, dialogue dialogue dialogue… OOF [that’s the sound of me landing on- thank the stars- my feet]. AND CHANGE.
To add insult to injury, I once fell off, and fell off again as I attempted to get back on. Biggest insult ever was when I fell off the podium while being given feedback by my mentor. As he made me ‘teach’ him Bhujangasana again [I’ve been having problems with my voice and pacing…], I crept up to get a closer look and whoopde doo, I fall off the podium. Jakob could not help but laugh his ass off at my predicament – falling off when not even teaching a legit class.
Now, how do you fall ONTO the podium? Isn’t that a little more… DIFFICULT?
Well my friends! It turns out – it is not the case.
As I was walking back towards the podium after milling around the room [apparently just standing NEXT to a person can make them suddenly remember correct alignment], I forgot to uhm, ah, get up on the podium and my thighs crash landed against it, making me go DOWN like a tree being chopped in the Amazon. Timberrrrrrrrr. Yes, it happened the second time I tried to get back up but instead miserably timberrrrr‘d onto the podium.
Falling backwards is a new… skill I have recently acquired – and one that I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of keeping. As I was teaching class, I took a few steps backwards to see a couple of students standing in the back row. Apparently I took a few strides too large backwards and soon I found myself flailing my arms as I flew backwards. THANK GOD for the mirrors behind me that caught my fall. By mirrors, I mean, heated mirrors that slightly burned my ass as I landed on the mirrors.
And there you have it – more teaching adventures! Next time you hear an OOF coming over the speakers, you can bet that you’re taking a Mei class who has hopelessly fallen off the podium. Maybe I should start putting barriers over the edge of the podium. HA!