So today I went to see a doctor.
Waited like a good little citizen before plopping myself on the chair [which frankly, looked like it had seen better days / thinner patients]. After the diagnosis, this … person goes on a RANT. A serious RANT. A rant to END all rants.
“Yes, I had a patient in here earlier just now, who had a toothache… she didn’t see a dentist, so now she has to come see me … I couldn’t give her a longer MC because I’m not a dentist you see … ” TO
“I’m telling you, big corporations have to act this way … one day when you become the boss… you’ll see …because who can predict the human mind? It’s all human nature…” (I initially thought he was directing this to me… until he started saying THIS)
“You know, I was watching Geographic.. National Geographic. It was about this person who went to some jungle to live with the apes, follow them around to study human behaviour. [Er, was this Jane Goodall?] Oh you watched it to? So yes, can you imagine, living in the Amazon [Ooops, Jane Goodall was in Africa] for one year like the apes, to study their behaviour? [I think I’d go crazy] …” TO
“Yes! I’d go crazy too! Like all those soldiers who go to Afghanistan or Iraq … [I think that’s called PTSD], they go crazy cause they haven’t had a woman! God created Man and Woman for each other [at this point I was tempted to tell him I’m gay] … So anyways then when they go to Afghanistan they rape all these women! And honestly I don’t blame them [WTF WTF WTF!] … Like all the navy people… [WTF WTF WTF] …”
It was almost like I had the words “PLEASE TALK TO ME BECAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD ANY HUMAN CONTACT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS” tattooed on my forehead in neon colours. Or “I HAVE A BLOG. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME MATERIAL TO BLOG ABOUT”. I’d rather think it’s the former over the latter.
“I don’t know what it is about me that makes people think I wanna hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much, maybe I wear too much pink, but please remember, I can rip your throat out when I need to.” Pam, True Blood.
p.s : Yes, I was wearing pink.