Monthly Archives: November 2010

ENOUGH

Enough is ENOUGH.

I have HAD IT with my liver!!!

 

 

There are blotches of angry red welts on my elbows, back of my knees, neck and navel. It itches when I teach, it hurts when I shower, and above all, it leaves dark-coloured scars after the eczema is done with its course.

 

 

I scratch and itch SO MUCH when I teach, I absent-mindedly started scratching myself and ended up having to stem a few drops of scarlet from the back of my knee from dripping onto the carpet [thereby evoking the grossness of every student in class].

 

I itched and scratched on my neck so much, I wondered why a student was staring at me until I looked at myself in the mirrors [while they were in Savasana, of course!] and saw that I had dried blood running down my neck, leaving a trail of  dead red blood cells in its wake.

 

My feet are yellow and jaundiced. Yes, I know, I am Chinese, but yellow feet on my sallow fair skin just made it look worse.

 

 

 

Oh, it’s still November.

 

 

M*

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Beautiful Collision

What a start to November.

First, I get a serious eczema outbreak all over my arms, legs, neck and torso. Everyone thinks I have some sort of fungal outbreak [IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS] and EVERY. ONE has been telling me not to scratch. I cannot tell you this enough – it is almost like telling the sun not to shine or the earth to stop spinning on its axis. I have eczema, I will scratch and IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD WHEN I DO SO. Then suffer later and start crying about how much of a leper I look.

Secondly – sciatica. Or a pulled muscle / tendon / thingajigbobfunk in my hip / pelvis. I can’t bend forward, can’t kick up my right leg in Standing Bow and Head to Knee hurts. It hurts when I sit down, and after I sit down I can’t get up and I can’t sit down for too long a time because “something funny” will go on in my left hip joint / girdle. My boyfriend felt sorry for me that he got me cake. Yay! Cake!

Thirdly – an accident. Just as a friend got into my car as I’m about to drive off … this … MOTHERFUCKER taxi driver reverses his car … into my passenger door.

My first reaction was “oh, I think it should be ok. My car’s continental and his is local … La la la!”. When I got out … There was a dent and a scratch. My door could not close properly as well 😦 I leaned on my friend’s shoulder and was about to cry. Then I realized … That mofo REVERSED INTO me.

I got mad.

Really really mad.

A red cloud overtook my vision, my hands were balled up into fists.

“Did you not see my car?!” I yelled at him in (horribly mangled cantonese), my voice betraying how I really wanted to punch him and may he get VD.

Cab driver began talking in Cantonese. I was too angry and shocked to comprehend what was being said, so I turned to said friend and asked, “What the FUCK is he saying. I do not fucking understand”.

Lucky for me, my friend did the translating and cab driver agreed to meet back at 3:30pm to assess the damage (he had a passenger, friend and I had errands to run).

Thankfully I met with an accident with an honest person because not only did the cab driver agreed to come back, we went to the workshop and he agreed to pay the cost of the repair. Thank you universe 🙂

They say all things happen for a reason. Still trying to find the reason for all bad things happening right now … And hoping that this will lead to bigger and better things.

😦

M*

Some excerpts from my bitchtastic rant that my poor friend had to endure :

“You will shut up and let me rant, because I said so. If you disagree, shut up as well”.

“Its not your fault. It’s the driver’s fault. Actually, it’s your neighbour’s fault for calling a cab.”

“Your neighbours are a bunch of bachelors? Good. Because I will send over a STD-riddled whore so they will all get herpes”.

Teacher’s Pet

Remember back in school, there would be that ONE person who would obviously be favoured by the teacher? Maybe s/he was the prettier looking kid in class or they knew the answers to EVERYTHING [stupid smart-ass-know-it-all kids. I wonder where they are and what they’re doing].

 

 

In fact, it’s no different in Bikram Yoga. More often than not, the teachers’ favourite student is the one with a great, focussed practice. I will admit, it is easier to teach the focussed students than those drama-ing at the back “Oh it’s soooo hot” [No shit Sherlock, you just entered Bikram HOT Yoga], and “Ohh my back hurts” [Are you kidding me? I just said your back is GOING TO HURT LIKE HELL!].

 

Until one day he stepped into my class.

 

 

For privacy’s sake, let’s call him A. A was here to take class with an entourage – his mum, cousin and maid in tow. The night before, Jakob texted me that A will be coming and to “give him some space and do whatever he likes”.

 

 

You see, A is not just a ‘first-timer’. He was a special first-timer. He was a special needs child from Indonesia who came to Kuala Lumpur for some form of therapy.

 

 

Coupled with the fact that A does not speak English but Bahasa Indonesia [Indonesian language] and that my dialogue is in English [my Indonesian is at best, rusty] , I was fearful. I was a new teacher, I possibly can’t have distractions coming in and out at me! What if I forgot my dialogue and started muttering nonsense up on stage? How would I control the class? How would I control A? What would he do during class?

 

 

Turns out I had nothing to fear at all. A was good, calm and he did the best he could. Sure because he was special needs he giggled or talked or made sounds during class, but then again, I have had worse drama queens in class 😉 [And he is SPECIAL needs, and you are NOT!]

 

 

In the beginning, like all students, he had to acclimitise to the heat. Of course he didn’t know what was going on – why was it hot? He moaned and wiped furiously at his sweat but I told him “Jangan lap. Nanti lagi panas ye!” [Don’t wipe! You’ll feel more hot!]. He looked at me woefully with his big doe eyes and I prayed to God he wouldn’t bawl. He looked back to the mirror and refocussed on his practice.

 

 

His dedication to the practice AMAZED and HUMBLED me. His mum would come out after class telling me, “A tu mintak nak buat exercise hot. Jadi, kita bawaklah dia. Tiap tiap hari pun mintak!” [A was asking to do the ‘Hot Exercise’, that’s why we brought him here. He asks for it EVERY day!”.

 

I smiled. I really didn’t know what to say.

 

 

His family soon became a regulars at the studio. A’s mum said “Walaupun panas dan susah, tapi A tu suka!” [Even though it’s hot and difficult, A loves it!]. One day I asked his mum, What benefits have you seen with A and the yoga? I have always wondered how the benefits would accrue with someone with special needs.

 

 

“Ohhh, banyak! Skarang tu lebih mudah untuk dia nafas. Dan skarang pun dia tu lebih sabar sikit. Boleh komunikasi“. [Ohhh, lots! It’s easier for him to breathe now, and he’s more patient when communicating].

 

And here I was worrying whether he could get 100% benefits even though he couldn’t understand me 😉 But, like Bikram said, try the right way and you’ll still get the benefits!

 

 

“Tu, bagi salam kat kak. Cakap bye dengan dia” [Say bye to Kak (Big Sister)].

“Bye auntie”

“BUKAN. Dia tu KAK! Bukan Auntie! Muda lagi la Cikgu Mei!” [NO! She’s not an Auntie! Teacher Mei is still young!] his mother said in chagrin. I waved it off and said that I am old enough to be called “Auntie” already. A’s mum said they’ll be going back to Indonesia for a while, but will see me after a month. That was in August.

 

 

That was the last I saw of them. I haven’t seen them since the Muslim new year, and with the eruptions and natural disasters going on in Indonesia, I hope they’re ok.

 

 

I still miss A every day. His happy smiling face, his smile as he does Half Moon pose, his mum as she tries to lock her knee, him going up to the mirrors to wipe it and say hello to his reflection during class.

 

 

A, you inspire me with your patience and dedication and love for the yoga. May our paths cross again, eventually, in the future.

 

 

M*

 

 

 

 

When the Going Gets Tough …

The tough gets going!

Alas, my personal life is in a disarray right now. Many things happening, both good and bad. But out with the bad, in with the good!

My next post will be password protected. I am sorry to do this, but hit me an email over at yogameniac [at] gmail dot come for the password.

Love and light,

M*

 

 

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