Monthly Archives: January 2011

I HATE Bikram Yoga

I really do.

I freaking hate it. Hate it to my guts, hate it from the tip of my hairs to the ends of my toe nails. Hate it from my sciatic nerve back up all the way to my optical nerve. AH THE NERVE.

 

 

I sweat too much, my sweat stings my eyes, and for some reason I get crusty eyes the next morning after class.

 

The teachers talk too much [HA!], they shout and scream at you to lock the freaking knee “LOCK THE KNEE, LOCK THE KNEE, LOCK THE KNEE!” and they never seem to be able to SHUT the HELL UP and yet seem so happy clappy out of class. BAH.

 

The men sweat too much, they fling their horrid sweat on me, and some males don’t know the meaning of Laundry Day.

 

My back hurts during backbends, my back hurts during forward bends, my back is FUCKING killing me.

 

It is DIFFICULT, it is SO DAMN HOT and it PISSES me off.

 

 

But yet like a cracked up whore I still keep going back and I became a teacher.

 

Because it is difficult, because it pisses me off, because it is hot, because the teachers push me, because of all the reasons why I hate it, is why I believe in it.

 

And yet, who can deny the post-class euphoria is the BEST part of class?

 

 

 

Happy 3 year anniversary to me! πŸ˜€

 

 

M*

9-week Stand, Anyone?

If you haven’t read this article by Clancy Martin of Details magazine, please click here.

 

 

I have a few minor problems with the article. Namely the fact that *I* did not get any hook-ups AT ALL during my 9 weeks of Teacher Training. Nope, I didn’t make out with anyone, never held hands, and I do not recall following a man with “perfect, rippling muscles” back to his room.

 

Instead, I found myself either :

– memorising dialogue like a loon

– doing yoga poses in the hallway of the Las Vegas Hilton with my groupmates [at 12am, nonetheless]

– crying

– doing bodily functions

 

 

 

Apparently the advanced seminar had “libidinal energy” pulsating throughout the resort during the Fall 2010 Advanced / TT. I think she has confused great yoga energy with sexual energy. Sure your Kundalinis open and what not, but if ANYONE has the energy to even last through the whole day AND return back to the room for some BoomBoomBangBang, you have my TOTAL respect.

 

I mean, sure I felt like I wanted to get laid, but even the mere thought of having sex was tiring enough.Β Seriously. I’d rather sleep than rub privates with someone else.

 

 

And “hundreds of gorgeous, fit women everywhere” ? Let me tell you a story of how I gained 6kgs during training, acne flared up and Bikram confused me for a boy [and this happened to a majority of my friends, the weight-gain part, not the “boy” part]. The end. The AVERAGE age of trainees at my TT was 40. The youngest was 18, the eldest 60-over. Gorgeous and Fit? Definitely. But not in the sexual snide undertones that the writer had in mind.

 

 

 

Maybe I should get my money back since I did not hook-up at all during my 9-weeks in Sin City. *sadface pout*

 

 

M*

 

 

 

The Epic Miri Gathering

aka Tania & King’s 2nd coming. Er. Wedding.

Pictures stolen from Daniel’s facebook because I stupidly FORGOT to charge my camera before bringing it along.

What do you get when you lump together a group that hasn’t met up in FOUR years? Add in some alcohol, a wedding, some nighttime debauchery [YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR YOGA TEACHER WENT LAST NIGHT], a hospital trip [YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR YOGA TEACHER GOT UP TO LAST NIGHT], amazing food and you get…

The Miri Gang.

I swear I gained 2 pounds in 3 days, thanks to all the feeding from our lovely hosts πŸ˜‰

“OMG SKINNY. EAT”.

Erm no thanks, I’m really full.

And I find my plate to be magically filled with food. Eeek.

Enough with the talky-talky, here are some pictures!

 

According to Chinese custom, the groom Β and his best men MUST pass a few … ‘tests’ / ‘trials’ / ‘tribulations’ set upon him by the bridesmaids. Because I am actually a sadistic person [and I have lots of ideas to plan], I have devised a few… erm, non-tortorous ways for the boys πŸ˜‰

 

 

Have you ever brushed your teeth with a gooey mix of honey AND cocoa powder? Yeah. The boys seemed to enjoy this one cause it looked easy and it tasted good. But of course, I start off slow and easy and move on to …

 

JELLY!

 

I made a special SPICY jelly with topped with bugs and wasabi powder. What made this jelly special was that I made it with BIRD’S EYE CHILLI [cili padi] essence water. Basically chopped up a few of those spicy suckers, poured boiling hot water to get the essence out and wala. I even topped the jelly with stars to make it look prettier Β πŸ˜€ And yes, those bugs are real. They taste… crispy.

 

Bitter bitter tea

A special brew of BITTER Chinese herbs and bitter gourd essence topped with freshly chopped bitter gourd. As to how BITTER it was, I took a tiny sip and the taste stayed with me on my tongue for a good 15-20 minutes. King even asked “OK, what DID you put in there? My mouth was BITTER for 30 minutes even AFTER a bottle of water and some cookies!”. Heh heh heh.

 

Carrot a day keeps the eye doctor away.

 

Tania bored a hole into the carrots, and we strung the carrots around the boys’ waist, making some other boys eat this wasabi-laced delicacy… withouth their hands. If you’re wondering, yes, it does look like a bunch of guys fellating each other in public.

 

And when it was all over, King got Tania πŸ˜‰

 

Min [in sunnies] is carrying a Golden Rooster with 7 eggs that symbolises good health and fertility.

 

Gold Gold Gold! πŸ˜€

 

Tania in her evening Cheongsam πŸ™‚

 

 

At the Chinese Tea ceremony ... iPhone obsession!

 

Dangit Daniel, you are SO DAMN SNEAKY WITH A CAMERA.

 

Some of the Best Men. Oh they were REALLY good sports about the games! πŸ™‚

 

I teared when she walked down the aisle :')

 

The Stage πŸ™‚

 

The Emcee was REALLY corny. “The sweetness of the cake will fill their heart with joy and fill their lives with sweetntess”. Or something equally as corny as that. I looked at Jo and said “I DID NOT WRITE THAT”. Haha!

 

Tania's Dad and the veil-covering

OOPS forgot to add this in. The lighting is really creepy, but the bride looks so radiant in this photo …

 

Pooped bride and equally pooped bridesmaids.

 

DANIEL YOU ARE TOO SNEAKY WITH THE CAMERA!

 

And we proceeded to Karaoke and drinking [I didn’t drink that much] and some more nighttime debauchery. Of which photos will not be posted up … because for some strange reason there is a photo of King topless and being molested by the guys. I was too busy playing dice / happily drinking away.

 

 

 

Ah, can’t wait for December 2011 πŸ™‚

 

 

M*