Monthly Archives: April 2011

Know This…

Even though I keep a flexible schedule …

I am close to being burnt out.

Ballerina

At the ripe old age of 2x, I have taken up … ballet.

Part of me was influenced by Natalie Portman’s fluidity and grace in Black Swan. The majority of me wanted to learn how to use my damn muscles for once because I have figured how to use my joints during class [and I can already here Emmy screaming “USE YOUR MUSKELLSSSS”]

Leotard? Check!

Leggings? CHECK!

Ballet split sole shoes? CHEEEECKK!

And I am off!

It has only been 2 classes but HOT DAMN it is DIFFICULT. I have now learnt that I have :

– Hyper-extended knees

– Super uber flexible joints [Teacher adjusted me a little and remarked, “I move you here a little and everything else moves. OK… GIRL you need to work!”]

– SUPER tight hips. Thanks, running, thanks a lot.

In fact, ballet has given me more … awareness on my body movement and alignment. I am more aware of my hip in Triangle [OH MOTHER OF GOD IT HURTS SO BAD NOW] and hello uneven hips in Standing Bow.

Now I’m even more tempted to try on  pointe 😉

M*

If You Have 8 Minutes …

… to spare, do do do take a look at this photo-documentary by Darcy Padilla, called The Julie Project.

Darcy Padilla has photographed Julie over a period of 18 years, from when she was a teenager living in the Ambassador Hotel in San Francisco till her death from AIDS at age 36.

Sociopolitical issues aside, this documentary FORCES you to think and feel for a PERSON named Julie. Of course, there are many other cases like Julie all around the world, and it is oft too easy to forget about them and let them slip through the cracks of the social system.

This is one of those things that will stay with me for a very, very, long time.

M*

Lady ROAR

Since I am UNABLE to tell anyone just what a kerfuffle I got myself into on Sunday… allow me to attempt to amuse you with what happened TODAY.

 

I am just so SICK and FED UP of being involved in accidents. Of ALL the accidents that happened to me, it ALWAYS ends up with people knocking into my poor little old car. Dear Universe, when I was asking to be knocked up to satisfy my maternal yearnings, this was NOT what I wanted! *huff.

 

Went down to my local car dealer to check out prices and models of cars. Ah, a happy zippy and spacious SUV! AHA, I thought, this could be IT! This could be LOVE! I sung to myself happily.

 

Got in the car. Checked it out. Asked the salesperson the toughies questions. Played around the boot. WOO USB and Bluetooth port! OK FOCUS. WOO hello sexy cup holders. OK FOCUS. Woo hello space!

 

In short : It’s a start. And I can already see me in it.

 

Salesperson : OK Miss Mei. So let us book the right time for you, because I am sure you would want to bring your husband here to test drive the car too …

 

To which I suddenly went so high-pitched, Lassie would’ve died.

 

Me : OH! Er. Well! No husband! No! I’m not married! Only me and myself! And my cats! No kids!

 

Salesperson : So sorry Miss Mei.

 

 

Fine. Apology accepted. Moving on. Hmm. Maybe the SUV is TOO family-like… I thought. Though I could really really do with a spacious boot [to dump the bodies of all the useless jerks who made me invest feelings in them before I find out that they’re attached…. BUT THAT’S FOR ANOTHER DAY!] ….

 

 

And then I saw her. The coupe.

 

The SEXY SEXY coupe.

 

Sure she has a long and wide ass. Sure it’s a 2+ 3 anorexic model seater …. SURE it’s a mid-life crisis car… BUT HOT DAMN I LOVE HER.

 

THE LINES. The sleek body. OH THE LINES.

 

I formed driving plans in my head. I will drive down to Singapore at 1am, banging this baby at 160km/h … and drive up north…. maybe up and down some winding roads to get a good feel of her …

 

If I sound like a man salivating and dreaming of sex with Natalie Portman, you are probably right.

 

I got into the driver’s seat. Felt the leather encase me. At once, I couldn’t wait to see how she’d handle me slapping her wet and wild on the roads up to Genting.

 

Again, sorry. I sometimes think I am a man stuck in the body of a girl.

 

As I was forming great driving plans … the other sales assistant slid up to me :

 

 

Salesperson 2 : So, no kids?

Me : NO. NO KIDS. NOT MARRIED. NO NO NO. *Whiiiineeeee Lassie pitch WHIIINEEEEEEEE

Salesperson 2 : So you’re not married? Why not?

Me : Uhm. Because I scare all the men away? [someone said I should’ve answered “Because I killed my last husband”] …. OH LOOK THIS IS MY MIDLIFE CRISIS CAR ALTHOUGH I HAVE YET TO HIT 30 OH WHAT COLOUR DOES THIS COME IN WOW SO PRETTY WEE

 

I think I got a little too loud and over-defensive that the first salesguy said I can come back and test drive the coupe. WITH NO OBLIGATIONS.

 

 

I am a happy girl indeedy.

 

 

 

And I still don’t get why a single lady can’t just waltz into a car dealership to buy her own car? Tsk.

 

M*