Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hola Desde de Mexico!

Yes, you read right.

Well, if you don’t understand Spanish, I said “Hello from Mexico!”.

Again, yes, I am in Mexico!

It took a tremendous amount of GUTS and heartbreak and tears to tear myself from my home and loved ones, but I believe it’s still a move for the best.

Now, a lot of people were wondering : Why MEXICO?! Isn’t it dangerous, drug-addled and won’t people want to kidnap a small tiny Asian girl and make her sell drugs?

In fact, would you even buy drugs from a tiny Asian girl who screams like a banshee “BLOQUEAR LA RODILLA!!!” ????

 

Ok, let that question be for now.

 

So far, I’m enjoying myself here. I live a short drive from the studio but since I drive on the OTHER side of the road I’m not going to drive or ride a bike to the studio for that matter. Let me take a cab or the bus instead of having the unfortunate case of my face undergoing flattening surgery for free.

 

 

So far, so good. I’m living and teaching in Metepec, a 1-hour drive from Mexico city. The studio is small and quaint, and I have been teaching in English transitioning into Spanish. By transitioning I mean like my class is 10% Spanish *mild shocked look.

 

And for some reason the locals say that I speak Spanish like how a German would speak Spanish. HILARIOUS. So back to my question of whether you’d buy drugs from a tiny Asian girl, now would you buy drugs from a German stuck in the body of a tiny Asian girl? Yep, didn’t think so.

 

It’s been a week here, but so far I’ve not ventured out that far mainly due to the fact that my Spanish is dodgy and … I have no idea where to go.

 

However, last week I did venture out to Coyoacan in the city, it was a lovely quaint little neighbourhood! Went to Fridah Kahlo’s museum, had some Tostado Coyoacan which was SO GOOD and of course, took some pictures and some running around the city.

Here’s hoping to a lovely stay here in Mexico.

 

 

M*

Fast, Food, Furious.

It all started with an invite from YTL Communications to head up to The Great North [Penang] to test the speed of Yes 4G.

And eat and eat and eat until I resemble a spider [Imagine if you will, small tiny limbs protruding out of a creature with a huge, ballooned abdomen].

Yes, by YTL Communications, is Malaysia’s first 4G network provider that promises speeds 3-5x better than 3G. I will be honest : When YES first launched I was skeptical : FASTER than 3G, really? But the infrastructure in Malaysia is SO CRAP, 3G speeds are more like GPRS speeds and because of the lack of towers, it REALLY REALLY drains battery life on your Smart Phone. As proof, I subscribed to the local 3G services while in New Zealand and Singapore and was pleasantly surprised with the speed. Obviously when I came back home I would be stabbing myself to death with a teaspoon trying to await my twitter feed to load or an email to download. C’mon c’mon I wanna watch Joseph Encinia’s ROCKING USA Nationals routine!!!

OH, and did I add – When working mobile-ly, I’d have to offer libations of Guinness and promise to do 25 Backward Bends [ugh!] to the Gods of WiFi that the connection is stable and fast. NOOOO not the spinning loading wheel of death NOOOOO!

And so for the most part, I’ve put up the very slow, inconsistent speeds of Streamyx and my mobile 3G internet provider. Enough is enough.

With the entry of Yes into the mobile broadband market, they have shaken up the game plan. High speeds? Yes please! Pay for only what you use? Yes please! Because why would you pay for “unlimited usage” when you get substandard service? πŸ˜‰ Get this : Yes has also graciously covered the ENTIRE North-South highway so you can REALLY stay connected!

Ok enough talky-talky. More looky-looky!

speaking”]Tan Sri Dato Dr Francis Yeoh strikes me as a humble and nice person. πŸ™‚

 

CEO of YTL Communications, Wing K Lee

CEO of YTL Communications, Wing K Lee. Super nice. Saw me wandering around the lobby looking lost and lonely [or rather, like a destitute prostitute at 8am on a Saturday] and said Β HI to me.

*Pictures above courtesy of Ee Ping.

OK OK. Enough pictures of dashing men in suits. Time for what you have been waiting for … THE FEAST.

And our first stop was at … Bidor! Our little convey [consisting of the lovely Arystle, charming Kelly and ever-heart-attack-ready James] practically wept in joy upon seeing the sign. Yes, we were starving. But of course, I took the opportunity to TEST out my little device called Huddle. Though of course, nothing that involves me is without blonde ambition :

“Hey. How do I turn my huddle on?”

– Is your battery in?

“How do I put the battery in?” πŸ˜€

Oh the withering look I got from the client. πŸ˜€

Average speeds BEFORE stopping at Bidor were :

3.16mbps download / 1.42mbps upload

5.83mbps download / 2.44 mbps upload.

PROOF :

Speed Test before Bidor.

Hmm. So far, so good. This meant streaming Joseph Encinia’s WINNING routine WITHOUT interruption, WITHOUT intermission.

FIRST STOP : Bidor Curry House.

Al your banana leaves go here.

And we savoured …

Banana Leaf Rice

This, my friends, is what addiction looks like. For my international friends / great big yoga family, it’s rice on banana leaf topped with curry [fish or chicken, your choice, or both! πŸ˜€ ] or dhall, and with a papadom [fried cracker, shown on left], and 3 types of veggies. You may opt to add on side dishes such as lamb, mutton, fried fish / chicken etc. As to why there are NO pictures of it? Well, I was too busy wolfing the food down.

After rolling around… James of YTL apparates out of no where and brought back ….

Bidor Duck Noodles

Ladies and gentlemen! Please note that this is the INCORRECT way of eating Duck Noodles. Arystle and I were SO EXCITED with the prospect of MORE FOOD that we greedily put the soup and the noodles in the same bowl, when it should have been separated out. Ah well, no worries.

The CORRECT way to eat Bidor Duck Noodles : Soup in 1 bowl, noodles on the side. πŸ˜€

Remember folks, 99% right = 100% wrong πŸ˜‰

Next stop : IPOH!

Land of tin, pretty girls and salt baked chicken [amongst other things]. There is no picture of the salt baked chicken that we got, however, there is a picture of me devouring said food :

Yoga hulk hungry.

And this is a bunch of KL-ites trying to haphazardly cross a road in Ipoh :

Photobombed by Ee Ping

NEXT UP : It was our group’s turn to get into the Sprinter [affectionately known as Vomit Car as the driver was CRAZY].

Arystle, Myself, Kelly and Yoga in the Sprinter.

Now this was NO ordinary van as it was decked out with ports to charge your paraphernalia and get this, equipped with a YES Zoom! It’s a unit mainly used for homes, plus you can just hook up a regular telephone line and wa-la, instant phone access!

Pause …

Going through a rough patch. I am stalking, but will be right back.

Beginners

Ok, potentially sticky post ahead! Again, *serious announcer disclaimer voice* this blog post are MY opinions solely and do not reflect those of my employers, boss, studio and or co-workers.

The ever lovely Dancing J has brought up a very interesting point about Beginners in class. The first-timers who walk in tentatively into the studio with their water bottle and a hanky of a towel whilst pointing furtively to The Chamber, “Bikram?”.

If it’s your VERY first class, it’s a good idea to raise your hand if your teacher has not asked you yet. This DOES NOT apply if it’s your FIRST TIME seeing this teacher! [It humours me when I ask “Anyone here first time?” and 3/5 times someone raises their hand, and I ask “Never done Bikram Yoga before?” and they go “Oh no no, it’s my 5th class, but my first time with you!” -__- ]

 

The first hard fast rule about Beginners that I learned from my mentor and the legendary Mary Jarvis? Β Just Let Them Be.

 

I honestly don’t believe in making them start with their toes and heels together for half moon or making them do all the asanas “properly” because let’s face it, for their first class they are trying to SURVIVE the heat. Most likely their thoughts range from Β :

– Oh my GOD it’s hot in here

– Why are there so many half naked people here?

– OK! Only … 80 more minutes to go! FUCK! … 50 more minutes … SHIT! …. 30 more minutes … FUCK THIS SHIT! … 10 more minutes … FUCK THIS SHIT WITH A CHAINSAW REPEATEDLY DEATH STAB DEATH STAB RAAAR

– If this teacher bends low enough will I get a nipple slip?

 

 

That being said, the only time I call out to beginners is when they are breathing through the mouth or continously wiping themselves down. If you wipe yourself down, your body has to work harder to produce sweat and when it does so, it makes you feel hotter! Besides, sweat is like nature’s moisturiser, so who wouldn’t want nice soft silky skin post class?

 

 

However, I do help the Newbies out with the arms for Eagle or the grip for Standing Bow. But if they don’t get it round for the other side or the second set, Just Let It Be. There’s always tomorrow [or the next day] to fix them!

 

It’s totally OK if they take a break and sit down and sip water. Afterall, the same above 4 thoughts are coursing through their head, their heart’s probably pounding against their ribcage and their either wishing death upon themselves or the teacher. Funny story : I once told a first timer that she’s ok, she won’t “die during class”. Apparently she heard me wrong and went up to management to complain about me. But live and let live, right? πŸ˜‰

 

Above all, it’s their first time! Many of us teachers or long-time practitioners have totally forgotten our very first class! [I remember being confused. A lot. And wondering why the hell an American is teaching in the worst possible English ever. Oh is it time yet?!]. That’s why I have decided to start taking “other styles” of yoga. I know, gasp, shock, horror. BUT, honestly, when was the last time I felt totally lost and not knowing what is next? It’s good to feel “lost” once in a while, I believe it should teach me some compassion and imbibe some form of humility in me.

 

My opinion : Don’t scare the Newbies with too many rules! The No Fidgeting / Moving between postures will come in time, they will learn the right time to drink water [if at all!], don’t try to make them do a ‘perfect posture’ because it’s their first class!

 

 

I know some Bikram teachers can be hardcore [myself included] but an EFFECTIVE teacher has to learn how to read a class and then pick their battles. Remember, lose the fight, win the war! Don’t scare the newbies [unless of course they are racketeering or attempting to commit crimes against humanity].

 

 

Let the Newbies decide to come back! Be the teacher that they’ll go “Oh WOW that was fun, I wanna come do this AGAIN!” and not “Oh WOW that was possibly the WORST thing ever, What the FUCK was up her ass? Has she not gotten laid in over 8 years?!”. Whatever their motivation to come back to try Bikram Yoga, be it their health, or for the teacher [I will admit that my first 3 classes I went to the same teacher because he was AWESOME] or simply to get washboard abs and buns of steel, the main thing is they COME BACK. πŸ™‚

 

 

 

M*

 

 

HAPPY!

Absolutely delighted, thrilled and honoured to have had Sarah (of Colorado) and Edward (of Vancouver) guest teach at our little studio in this far flung corner of Earth!

 

Spent some time hanging out with the fabulous yogis, doing advanced and generally creating mayhem of the yogic kind. WHEEE!

 

Learnt a great deal about alignment and form from Sarah, who has had 8 years of teaching under her belt. [I feel like a zygote next to her. Seriously].

 

Second thing to be happy about … I’M LOSING MY FLEXIBILITY! YAY!

 

I know, you must be in shock. “Which HEATHEN would profess her utter joy at losing her flexibility at yoga?!” Well, THIS heathen doth do so! The problem for overly flexible people such as myself is that class is actually HARDER for us as we have to learn how to USE our muscles and not SINK into our joints. Oh, the irony, at having to have a hip replacement by the time I hit 30 all because I was sinking down into my pelvis during triangle πŸ˜‰

 

When you build STRENGTH in your muscles, you will compromise on your FLEXBILITY. Yes, I had to control myself from going too far back in a backbend or kicking too high up in Standing Bow [because I can, and because I know I look ridiculously good doing so] but what is the point of doing so when I can’t hold it… even though you may threaten the life of a kitty at that.

 

THIRDLY … I *finally* hauled ass to a dermatologist.

 

After multiple GASPS and “OH MY GOD”s and the occasional “EWW” from students, I, the leper, have dragged myself to see a dermatologist reccommended to me by a few students.

 

Wait time without an appointment : 45 minutes

Consultation time : 3 minutes

Cost : RM120 (including a littany of creams, pills and consultation fee)

 

HAPPY with the results so far! Though I may have to put on more Vitamin E cream to have nice silky pins by the time Tania’s wedding rolls by πŸ˜‰

 

 

Which made me realise… what the HELL is going on with my immune system? First shingles, now an outbreak of eczema on my body!

 

 

So totally downing an orange juice after this, right after this tiny little tablet that made me so drowsy that

 

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Quick Thought

A few weeks ago, there was a rumour flying around the blogosphere and twittersphere that the Greatest Wacktress / Trainwreck There Ever Was – Lindsay Lohan – was joining Fall 2010 Bikram Yoga Teacher Training.

I’m only assuming that someone meant it as a joke but it apparently got out of hand. Shock, horror!

I should’ve went in Fall 2010 πŸ˜›

But it did get me thinking – if you took the towels from Ms. Lohan, dried it, scraped it and processed it nicely ala CSI style … you would have truck loads of meth / coke / weed / whatever the hell she’s on right now.

MAJOR WIN.

M*

p.s : I can use the money to pay for a boob job. [guffaw]

Competition

I have a hip injury, I can’t.

My back hurts, I can’t.

It’s in Singapore, it’s too far! I’m going to have to commute there to take advanced!

I don’t have the prettiest postures. Hell, I can’t even lock out in Standing Bow and can’t hold Standing Head to Knee for more than 5 seconds.

But at the end of the day, the only thing to exist are only excuses.

M*

What Do Bikram Yoga Teachers Do On Their Day Off?

Dexter
Chocolates
Sleep
5litres of water
Laundry

So wiped out for some reason. Might need to up my electrolite intake.

M*

Disclaimer

All opinions, views, jokes, sarcasm, statements contained herein are solely mine and do not reflect those of my employers, studio managers, family or friends.