Category Archives: Work

Another Writing Project

You lot know I love to write.

Or rather, I prefer to think that I think I know how to write, and then annoy you with my senseless directionless drible.

Like what I just did.

Without further ado, I present to you, Revision 365, a site for which I am also a guest contributor [thanks Mike! 😀 ]

And for my first post, hat tip goes to the lovely Dancing J who featured the hilarious video on her facebook. I know now why I feel so damn STRONG after tea. TEAAAAAAA! EMPIRES WILL FALL BUT STEAM WILL RIIIIIIIISE.

M*

M*

The Wonderful Wonders of Web 2.0

Warning : Potentially boring geeky post about Web 2.0 and Social Media. If that’s not your cuppa tea, please visit http://kkaroundtheworld.wordpress.com/#mce_temp_url# for some entertaining stuff! My former neighbour who has since moved to Texas [and turned out to be quite a dashing young man I must say 😉 ] has quit his job and is now embarking on a whirldwind worldwide backpacking adventure! EXCITING STUFF! I only regret I couldn’t make it down to Texas to visit him while I was in USA though 😦

I love the interwebz – it has allowed me, via my blog [and Facebook, etc] to network with other like-minded Bikram yogis through forums, Twitter and we exchange useful information [though sometimes I must admit I tweet totally useless stuff] and connect with each other 🙂 In fact, our community is so … unique and intriguing, I was supposed to write a White Paper on it last year but I got… sidetracked. OK FINE, I got lazy and I had to prepare for Teacher Training. And I got obsessed with holding Standing Head to Knee for 1 full minute, tee hee [which I still haven’t mastered, but oh well].

Most companies have now started jumping onto the Web 2.0 bandwagon. Heck, you even see small mom’n’pop shops with their own little “Like us on Facebook!” signs up [I should really take a picture of that next time …]. But what some companies think is Web 2.0 = total fail. For example, you can’t just set up a facebook page, “LIKE” it and expect 10 bazillion fans / members to tune in when you don’t even bother interacting with your core audience [true story x 1million for this jaded person]. What IS Web 2.0 anyway? For me it goes WAY BEYOND setting up a twitter account and announcing updates [*cough Machines], @MAS had it down to a pat but I’m a tad sad to see their brand personality vanish [*cough]. @yoga_rajashree had great Twitter presence, but I guess she got busy 😦 Mary Jarvis [hello Mary! ❤ ] on Twitter was awesome, but she hasn’t been on Twitter for nearly a year 😦  In other words, corporations need to go UP, ABOVE and BEYOND when doing Web 2.0. You can’t just do it and HOPE for the best! There is a FORMULA to it, THERE HAS TO BE INTERACTION [that’s why it’s called SOCIAL media, d’oh] – no more hiding behind screens, trolling forums, baiting people on forums [*COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!!!!]. For Web 2.0 to work, there has to be TRANSPARENCY! So your flight got delayed by Air Asia? Obviously first thing I’m going to do is tweet @AirAsia and then slam @TonyFernandes. I’m sorry, but that is the truth, please don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it otherwise. And if your company truly sucks donkey balls @maxiscomms ? Don’t get on twitter if you can’t handle the heat! Twitter is not MEANT for damage control [you could try @maxiscomms and TMNET, I would love to see that].

One of the BEST ways Social Media [in particular, Twitter] has been utilised is by HBO for their star show True Blood. You have ALL the characters of the series @Sookie_BT , @Eric_ofArea5 @WilliamTCompton to even Lorena, Alcide, Tara AND Lafayette in on twitter INTERACTING with EACH OTHER and their fans! Basically the characters interact with each other based on what that week’s episode was. How EXCITING for rabid fans such as I, who cannot wait for the next episode of True Blood to come out [till someone burst my bubble and said “Ya know, it could be some fat overweight dude managing all 20 accounts” 😦 ]. Even Jessica the baby Vamp has her own BLOG and she VLOGS! [OK, it could be that same 50 year old dude who’s behind it, bleh].

WHEEE!

Happy Social Media Day everyone!

*No, I’m not sick. I know the story, I just *cough

*My GOD it’s like I got hit by the Writing Fairy in the hinny! [haha, it even rhymes!]

*Fine, with the number of *coughs in my post, I really ought to have died of TB by now

M*

Sayings I Think Should Be Made Into Bumper Stickers

Just because I’m trying to distract your attention. Yes, instead of posting up nudie photos, I am going to do it in a very corny way.

“Dialogue SAVES” Thanks J!

“Bikram Yoga teachers are superheroes cause we save lives”

“Don’t just stand there. DO IT!”

“Lock the knee. LOCK the knee. LOCK THE KNEE!”

“Don’t look at me, look at yourself!”

“GRAB YOUR FOOT, EVERYONE WAITING FOR YOU!”

“DON’T LOSE THE GRIP”

“Namaste, motherfuckers” [I said that after 2 jerks cut my line as I was driving. Asswipes. SEE – I have succesfully decompressed back to my real state of life 😦 ]

“Pull MORE. Pull HARDER. KEEP PULLING” [For thedancingj – WHICH POSTURE IS THIS FROM?!]

And that is all. Happy Saturday everyone!

p.s : Just cut my hair too. WHEE WHEE!

M*

Even Geeks Have Social Lives

If I’m not mucking at home after Yoga, I’m at home trying to :

– muck around the css of Yogameiniac [and killed a kitty in the process]

– pack my bag to Vegas

– Unpack the boxes of stuff from house renovation and shove it into my closet. Or luggage.

all at the same time. Eek!

So I basically killed the CSS on my blog [sigh]. Searched my contact list and there were NO GEEKS online! Ack!

Till finally, one showed up. *grovels on floor

[21:40] FoOie: You WHAT?
[21:40] (@) Mei*: fret not, i killed a kitten on my blog
[21:41] (@) Mei*: in other words, the css and widget-ry is squeezing me dry
[21:41] (@) Mei*: fuck, no geeks are online so i can bother them.
[21:41] FoOie: Oh okay.. Haha I guess u wouldn’t be so calm if u really did kill a kitten
[21:41] (@) Mei*: even geeks have a social life. *stabs self
[21:41] (@) Mei*: if i did i’d be sobbing i think
[21:42] (@) Mei*: so uh, don’t think you’d want to help me while you’re on mobile web
[21:42] FoOie: What social life lol. I’m heading home on a fri night, lugging a 4kg boardgame with me
[21:42] (@) Mei*: but you bought something
[21:42] FoOie: I can’t help much on mobile web
[21:42] (@) Mei*: i sat in front of the computer figuring out how i killed kitty and at the same time trying to shove clothes into my luggage
[21:42] (@) Mei*: yeah so no sweat ;)
[21:43] FoOie: Which u do all the time
[21:43] (@) Mei*: … no.
[21:43] (@) Mei*: that is a lie.
[21:43] (@) Mei*: *obama voice* that is not true.

Sigh. You know you’re in trouble when even the resident wordpress geek says that I spend all my Fridays doing geeky / yoga-dorky stuff. I swear I’m 24 going on to 42.

Now excuse me while I muck around the CSS one more time before I squeeze Edward kitty till his eyes pop out.

M*


Missing the Sluts and the Nerds

Freelancing as a writer is a tough job. Since leaving the world of advertising 6 months ago [WOW, that long!], I’ve had MONTHS go by without a paycheque [earning RM50 from the sales of cancer sticks do somehow keep me sane]. So I was very happy and very pleased that suddenly, the opportunity for a GREAT BIG writing gig popped up. See, manifest thy thoughts and it shall happen! Even better, my ex-colleagues contacted me for it. HAPPY!

Hopped over to my old office to get the brief. It felt odd, seeing the new writer there [or, should I say, designer-turned-writer 😉 ]. It felt even odder that a new designer was sitting where I used to eat, sleep, and tip-tap some advertising drivel away. The scandalous pictures from our company trip to Tioman, my mugshot when I was running for VP of the social club, a poster of me waving a fist at God-knows-who at one of our charity drives [at a children’s home, no less]; were all still there, almost as though I’d walk back through the glass doors to make the Creative Head’s blood pressure skyrocket once more.I think I did it on Friday, when I told him he looked like a balding ape.

I miss the people, but I don’t miss the job. And I certainly don’t miss the crappy pay, nor do I agree with the direction they’re heading, one bit.

Some days I wonder if all this is part of a greater plan that the universe has in store.

M*

Oh, HAI!

I’m sorry, been bits busy celebrating the 26th of June.

Patiently awaiting the Asian Poses from Justice. We did 20, yo! Many thanks to Za for helping us take the pictures and to Brian L for his crappy art direction :

Za : Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this. Hurry up!

M* : Think of it as your birthday present to ME. Now hurry up and TAKE THE PICTURES.

*click click click

Brian : Awesome. Now girls, take your clothes off.

Justine : Fuck you.

We forgot 6 of the poses! Oh and we couldn’t do the pigtail one cause well, we both have short hair, heh heh heh. Plus it was good fun visiting the old office again and goofing around with the guys 🙂

M*

Quote of the Day

As I was at my old workplace attempting to teach someone Awkward pose :

 

M* : Step your right foot out 6 inches… keep 6 inches between your toes, heels, knees and hands … Hang on, that’s not 6 inches, open your feet more!

1 : It IS 6 inches!

2 : Honey, whichever guy that told you THAT was 6 inches, was lying.

 

I miss Slutknot.

 

 

M*

Milk Me!

Day 4, class 5. 6:15pm

I begged to be corrected for tulandandasana (balancing stick pose) today.

Still need to build strength on the LEFT side of my body, whereas the right side’s strong, but not as flexible. Either or, I’m waiting for the day in the challenge where I stiffen up and have to rely on strength and not flexibility.

I’ve noticed lately when doing backbends, my monkey mind keeps on muttering “No no no no no I’m not gonna do this. Let’s just skip this part now, shall we? Oh come on, we shall take it easy peasy, kill yourself the second set!”. But how hard is it to tune it out and listen whilst the instructor is screaming “Stretch up, chest up, go back way back fall back try to fall down backwards push push push fall back way back more back go back one day you are going to touch the floor” ?

Turns out, it’s quite difficult. I’d have to tell my monkey mind, “Shut the HELL up. I’m doing the posture, and if I die or get crippled in class, he’ll have to cart my twisted body out”. And whaddaya know, I’m halfway backwards looking at the floor. And I’ve also noticed, the good classes that I’ve had were when I bent backwards. Unless it’s a week leading up to Monthly Bleed, then hell hath no fury like my ovaries thrashing and releasing hormones that don’t allow for flexibility.

Sigh. It’s good to be a guy.

Today the instructor came over to squueeeeeeeeze and clench my hands tighter in ardha-kurmasana (half tortoise pose). And WOW did I feel the change in my shoulders. A-ha, I thought. This must the SUPER SECRET SQUIRREL technique! Well, not really SSS, but just another way of going deeper into a pose.

Towards the end of class, I had this strange craving for a nice, tall glass of cold milk. The full fat creamy kind, not the watered-down lo-fat high-calcium no-taste milk. After class, was talking to a few members and they planted ideas of having ais kacang or cendol after class! Oh man I could really do with cendol right now, even after my glass of milk and tin of soy milk. Gaaah!

****

OK now that the nice yogini is out, it’s time for the NICER Mei to make an appearance.

Went back to my old office to pass the cancer sticks cigarettes to some colleagues who decided to buy 1 carton at RM70. The deal is this : my friend sells it to me at RM70. I sell it to FRIENDS or PEOPLE I LIKE for the same price. No point in being too greedy, right? Anyway, I’m indulging their addiction during this recession. Again, I’d like to reiterate for those who didn’t get it right the first time round : I DO NOT MAKE ANY MONEY OUT OF YOUR PURCHASE. Not a single cent. Although it would be nice to have some extra money since I am UNEMPLOYED until further notice. And by further notice I mean : TILL DECEMBER 2009 IF ALL GOES WELL.

“Working” for the family does not mean I get paid. Even if I do, it’s in food and “Let me help you out with car payments”. That sort of thing. So my Shakti dreams will have to wait, unless you know of someone who wants to buy a kidney.

And what do some people say when they discover that it’s Duty Free cigarettes?

“Oh, duty free. Sure taste like shiet”.

Oh, wow.

The audacity in saying that. The goodness of my heart in wasting RM10 [or more] in petrol to go to Mid Valley under the blistering sun, paying RM1 for parking, walking up from P4 in Gardens all the way up to Northpoint. AT NO EXTRA CHARGE. And yet you can come and say “Oh sure taste like shiet”.

Can I get a “THANK YOU”? I should have charged RM75 for that. At least it’ll cover my petrol and parking.

How ungrateful.

The upside of travelling all the way there was meeting Za, Tiffany, Tay and Jessie for lunch. Huge props to them for my lunch! It’s ok guys, I think I can fend for myself till December. In which case, is anyone keen on buying a kidney?

M*

p.s : Anyone who wants to buy from me now, it’s RM75. Hey, I gotta cover the cost of parking and petrol. Unless you’d like to waste YOUR PETROL to come to my house in Subang Jaya. It’s still RM75 in that case because I need to go out and see my contact.

pps : May be waived to RM70 if I like you.

*Apparently Duty Free cigarettes “taste like shiet” because of its [lower?] nicotine content. I wouldn’t know. I crushed my last cigarette under my stilettos a year or more ago and never had the luxury of shit tasting cigarettes.

“GIVE ME YOUR NAKED PICTURES!”

Screeched my boss. On my last day.

 

Don’t worry friends, he isn’t lusting over me. Even if he was, soooo don’t want to know. *thinks of happy things, like ponies and fairies and 3 minutes of Part 2 Awkward. 

 

Here’s how I got my boss screeeching that at 4:50pm : 

 

M* : I made a new twitter friend! See, I have actual friends now, unlike you. You’ve got IMAGINARY friends. 

D : Oh, do you now.

M* : Yes. And my friend offered to send me a tank top that he designed caused I practiced some link loving! Isn’t that sweet? 

D : Wait, how’d you meet this friend?

M* : We both practice Bikram Yoga. And follow each other on Twitter.

D : Uh, and he’s sending you the top. To your house.

M* : No, he’s sending it to an orphan in Namibia. No shit, Watson.

D : Well see, now that he knows where you live, one day he’s gonna come over and stalk you and say : GIVE ME YOUR NAKED PICTURES!

M* : AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 😯  But, people who practice Bikram Yoga aren’t crazies.

D : Says who? Just look at what I have to deal with in the office.

M* : 😀

 

 

….

 

 

M*

Change. Transform. Breathe. Live.

I’ve been thinking about this thing I want to do for the past 7 months or so. This ‘thing’ that I want to do WILL cost me money [oodles and poodles of it], time [9 weeks to be exact], travel [to Palm Springs, California] and leaving a workplace / industry whereby late nights are a norm, drinking and smoking up in search of ‘creativity’  is to be expected.

Basically, I’m sick of feeling sick. I am sick of feeling even more tired when I wake up.  I hate it when my carpal tunnel rears its ugly head again whilst I try to quickly churn out copy after copy for clients, I hate staying up till 2,3,4am in an attempt to hopefully sell the client our idea, which will then be used to sell their products to you, my fellow reader. I have had enough of being called crap by my boss. I am disheartened that some people think that staying late into the night at the office is a cool thing to do [“I stayed till 5am dude!”]. I fear for the young talents who come joining this industry expecting glitz and glamour and get nothing of that.

I want to be a Bikram Yoga instructor.

I can hear someone incredulously screeching “WHAT?!”, maybe someone else is spitting coffee / whisky all over the monitor.

I now hear “Why’d you want to leave an industry that you’ve only been working in for THREE years? Maybe you should go work somewhere else; maybe your current boss can’t teach you anything; maybe your boss is just a jerk, you’ll meet nicer people along the way”.

Yes, I’ve only been a copywriter for 3 years [and won an award or two along the way, but really, it’s icing on the cake].

Yes, maybe I should join a bigger agency and learn a few tricks of the writing trade along the way.

Yes, maybe my boss is a jerk who deserves to hold Awkward 2nd part for 3 minutes.

But I still remain disillusioned. Jaded even, if you will. Only after 3 years.

It was last year when I found myself in the hot room. I’ve been practicing yoga for 4 years, and I expected to do the same old same old postures in a heated room. Boy oh boy was I sorely mistaken. In my very first class, I fell on my ass once [during Standing Separate Leg], wobbled and toppled out of postures plenty of times and gaped like a fish for fresh air.

And I loved it.

If copywriting fed my body [copywriting = get a pay check = buy food = feed the hungry writer!], then Bikram Yoga certainly nourished my soul. Within a few months, I had no more Carpal Tunnel. Sinus? So long, sucker! Weak / wobbly ankles [a by-product of being too flexible is that you tend to have weaker ankles, no thanks to over-flexible tendons and ligaments and what not. Shar Mayne my physio friend, please correct me!], goodbye! Along the way, I’ve also learnt to be more patient [I’m still working on my anger management issues] and not to mention, my tolerance level has shot up. Though driving on Malaysian roads is another matter…

It was September last year that the stray thought of attending Teacher Training [at that time in Mexico] took place in a vacant spot in my head. Pretty easy, really, since I’m such a blonde … Till I got wind of how much it’ll cost me [I calculated a kidney, plus surrogacy for 1.42 couples]. The good news is that Teacher Training has been relocated to California, meaning I’ll pay less for flight, but probably more for food. And I won’t get to habla espaNol.

7 months on, and I’m even more determined to go. If I can’t get a loan from a bank [since I’m going to be jobless in 8 days], and the parental units won’t want to sponsor me [which I’ll pay back, naturally], the last option would be either

a – fundraising.

b – social escort ‘cept that I don’t have the looks, tits, or ass going for me. Although I could probably astound them with a backward bend or an elbow twist …

c – sell my left kidney

d – surrogacy HEEELOOOO stretchmarks and 6 months of no Bikram Yoga.

e – sell my eggs Hello, would you like the genes of a linguist who so happens to be a writer? Blondeness mandatory, blonde hair optional

Here’s hoping that I make it to Palm Springs for Fall 2009 Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. It’ll be 9 weeks in good ol’ USA [I hope visa application won’t be a pain in the nuts], twice a day practising with 300 over yogi/nis from every nook and cranny of the 3rd rock from the sun, and I heard Bikram himself loves to keep students up till the wee hours watching Hindi movies.

*IF* someone decides to fund at least a portion of TT, I’ll name my first child after you. Regardless of gender I can’t imagine a girl named say, Raymond …

M*

p/s : The shitty part about copywriting, may I add, is that I’ve been wrapped up being too many ‘voices’ in one day that I’m starting to lose my sense of identity as a writer…