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“Yellow, are you STUPID?”

It’s HERE! It’s FINALLY HERE! Yay for Yellow Cab Pizza, it’s finally here in Malaysia!

 

Had my first taste of this thin-crust-yummy delight in Boracay. Oh I absolutely LOVED IT! Yeah and maybe because I was ravenous that time. And they’ve opened a branch behind my gym! Oh so delicious treats right after a 90-minute session of Bikram Yoga. On another note, I burn around 600-900 calories per class, so this should be interesting to see if I gain any weight 😛

 

Since I don’t have the contact number for the Taipan outlet, I decided to call the KL outlet [after much googling involved]. And I must say, idiots run amok in Yellow Cab Pizza. Here goes my conversation : 

 

M* : Hi, can what time is the last order for the Taipan branch?

Idiot #1 : Tai..pan… branch?

M* : Yes, Taipan branch. 

Idiot #1 : Tai..pan… branch?

M* : YES, Tai. Pan. Branch.

Idiot #1 : Tai..pan… branch?

If you seriously haven’t lost your temper by now, I will buy you some Buffalo Wings.

M* : …. YES. WHAT. TIME. IS. THE. LAST. OR. DER. IN. THE. TAI. PAN. BRANCH. 

Idiot #1 : Hang on lemme get my manager ahhh.

In the background I hear the words “Taipan. Branch. Time. Number”. Sigh.

Idiot #2 : Hello, yes?

M* : Hi, what’s the number for the Taipan branch? Because at this point of time, I am seriously sick and tired of talking to idiots in KL

Idiot #2 : Oh, what’s up?

M* : I would like to know what time is the last order for the Taipan.

Idiot #2 : Why don’t you call that outlet, maam?

Deep breathe

M* : IF I HAD THE NUMBER WHY WOULD I BE CALLING THIS OUTLET TO ASK FOR IT OR ASK WHAT TIME THE LAST ORDER IS?!

*pause

Idiot #2 : Okay, sorry about that maam. But usually last order is at 11.45pm.

M* : … THANK YOU. *slam

 

 

Oh God the IDIOTS I have to face in KL. A colleague suggested I speak to them in Malay, since they’re Malay [or at least, sounded Malay]. 

 

Well I won’t, so fuck off. You know why? This is the service industry. Y’all who want to be in this industry need to speak ENGLISH, especially so as this is a PIZZA outlet not a nasi kandar outfit. PLUS, speaking Malay when they sound Malay? That’s discrimination as well! 

 

That pizza I’m having tonight better be good. This will be a good meal before my detox on Saturday and Sunday.

 

 

M*

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Mei’s Wrath

Most of you who know me know of my nice easygoing nature.

Except when provoked. ROAR!

On Tuesday, I went to the post office to pay some bills. The usual electrcity, water etc kind. Since the post office is conveniently located opposite my gym, I scooted there after my yoga session [and a quick shower lest I kill everyone with my body odour] and parked my car in a nice yellow box, not behind anyone’s car and certainly not obstructing anyone’s entry or exit.

After waiting what seemed to be eternity [25 minutes], I finally managed to pay my bills. Well what do you know, some idiot has parked behind me. Actually, make that 2 idiots, since there was another car parked just right behind me that would’ve made my exist even more difficult then it already is.

Countless reversings later, I finally decided to honk so that the idiot driver of the red Proton Gen-2 will come out and move his her car out of the way. Motherfucking idiots that park behind other people’s car and inconvenience everyone should be shot dead and their carcass displayed on the KL Tower to make an example out of their stupidity and inconsiderate nature.

This lady comes out to move her car. I recognised her as my bank investment officer [I donate money every month to OCBC for investment purposes, and they in turn plunder it and rape virgin forests invest it wisely with their shareholders]. So I gave a little honk to wave and say hello [even though I don’t really like that bitch, Carina Lau of OCBC USJ 9]. She then turned to me and said “WAIT LAH”.

Hmm. Is that how one would treat clients? I drove home and called her. Here goes the conversation :

M* : Good morning Carina. I was just wondering if you drive a red proton Gen-2 ..

FoolishBankDrone : Er.. yes.

M* : Oh, right. Next question : Are you usually RUDE to your clients?

FBD : [silence] What do you mean, Miss Ng?

M* : Oh you know, I was in my car and I honked to say hello but you told me rather rudely to “WAIT”.

FBD : *Sticky sweet voice* Oh sorry Miss Ng! I didn’t know it was you!

M*: My windows aren’t tinted.

FBD : Ah but we met only for a short while!

M* : But I still remember you. Are you saying that I am of inconsequence to you? But moving on, may I ask why do you have to park behind other people’s car and inconvenience them so?

FBD : Oh I am so sorry, but you do not understand Miss Ng…

M* : You work in that area. The least you can do is PAY FOR PARKING

FBD : But that area is very packed!

M* : That still does not give you the right to park indiscriminately.

If I were to park behind someone else’s car in my office, I surely won’t be surprised if my car were scratched / stolen / smashed to smithereens by the time I came back for it. She’s just lucky I didn’t have a brick handy to smash her skull in.

FBD : Well dear, I’m so sorry cause I was wondering “Who this girl is” … [insert more nonsense fakery here, I was fuming by this time and wanted to tell her to get raped before getting blown up by C-4]

M* : Enough of this. You have so far been rude and unprofessional. What will it take for you to respect me? Close down my bank account and cancel future transactions with you?  Thank you and have a nice day.

Now a few problems I have with this Foolish Bank Drone [or Fucking Bitch, DIE!]

1. She is forgetful. She once forgot to pass me a form to fill and sign, nearly resulting in my investment being delayed by a few days. It’s okay if it’s your first job, or your first day, your first week. But it wasn’t. So she’s sloppy, stupid and unprofessional.

2. For our very first meeting, I was dressed in torn jeans and a FCUK t-shirt. Yes, I dress like that to work. She didn’t even bother to talk to me until I introduced myself and told her I had a meeting with her. Cue fake smile and all the appropriate fakery that comes along with it. I can’t stand people like that. So fucking what if I dress the way I want to to go to work or the bank. I’m giving you my money to put in your hands for safekeeping, stupid bitch.

3. I was in the police station lodging a report against the pervert when she called me at 2.50, telling me that I have 10 minutes before the transaction deal is done for the day. Naturally I was fuming. Who fucking calls 10 minutes before something is due, especially when it’s your client you’re calling? In university, that’s tantamount to a FAIL. So I told her “I am in the police station. You call me 10 minutes before something is due. Is it my fault you decide to call so late?”. She naturally shut up and gave me half an hour.

4. So I find out that I’m the secondary contact, and that my father is the primary. Well hello, if you can’t contact the primary, you immediately contact the secondary. Are you fucking stupid? Oh sorry, I forgot you actually are! I’m delighted, as it’s my first time meeting a person who’s so deathly stupid, slow to comprehend and lacks common sense…

Yes, four is indeed a few.

Nevertheless she sent me a text message apologising again :

Dear Miss Ng, I sincerely apologise if in any way I have been rude to you, but it was an accident as I couldn’t see you very clearly Again, my windows are not tinted and are you trying to say you’ve forgotten what your client looks like?  You must be fucking kidding me! I never forget what my clients look like, as that would be death! I had no idea it was you saying hello and just tot [sic] that the driver was being impatient Hello, you blocked my fucking path you stupid cunt. I have all the right to be impatient. What if my colostomy bag burst and I was dripping feces all over my car? Of course I’d like to hurry the fuck back home to clean it Again, I would not have been staring in the rearview mirror if i knew you were just being friendly So she admits bitchstaring at me, which I didn’t even raise as an issue. This woman obviously needs to know how to talk to her clients. Fucking moron

To which I replied :

Thank you. You referred to me as girl, clearly emphasising your lack of respect for me or anyone else younger than you. Just because I am 23 does not mean I know nothing. Just because I go to work in casual wear does not mean I an unemployed. I work as a copywriter in a well-established advertising agency and my clients are MNCs [Multi National Corporations], including a bank. Please respect those who chose and can dress however they like.

She did not respond after that.

Carina Lau of OCBC USJ 9, I hope you’re reading this and you realise the follies of your erroneous ways. May I suggest you work as a cleaner, because you evidently think that in your position and supposed qualifications, you’re higher than others. Newsflash : I am still your client. By hook or crook, the clients are always right as we pay your bills.

M*